Lyrics: Mark Allan Rivers Music: Mark Allan Rivers My name is Andrew Glauberman It means boogerman in Yiddish I’m a thirteen-year-old pervert who’s gonna die on his first day of high school Possibly My only hope is a finger in a butthole It’s a good plan! His name is Andrew Glauberman. He’s a thirteen-year-old pervert who’s gonna die on his first day of high school His only hope is a finger in a butthole Ladies and gentlemen, the Bridgeton High Quee Choi! It’s gonna torturous, thrilling and cruel We’re getting yanked out of our comfort zone, we’ve graduated middle school It’s gonna be a whole new cluster-**** of excitement, pain and fear Yeah Big Mouth’s going to high school, the day is finally here Some will be cast out all alone, untethered from the pack (Scared and lonely) For some it’s just another chapter in a world hopeless and black (A world of black) While some are psyched to start anew among the outcasts, freaks, and scum Yes, Big Mouth’s going to high school. The future has begun It means four long years of stress and fear for the shy and insecure Accept the dread, there’s no turning back now (Can’t turn back now) We’re gonna throw away the drab passe for ninth grade haute couture It’s a vicious dog-eat-dog buffet and this bitch is gonna chow! We’re gonna draw some brand new backgrounds Might even give us boobs and beards Yes, we’re headed off to an unknown fate We might not live to graduate But the Big Mouth kids are moving up to high school Right after you skip the intro Right after you skip the intro