Lyrics: Kevin Chen/Christopher Vernon
Music: Kevin Chen/Christopher Vernon
[Verse 1]
I've got a low bar to clear for my mating selection
A daily dose of adequate affection
No problems with his teeth and erection
All over me but not too gay to function
[Pre-Chorus]
My only single friend's out on a date
I hope that it ends in a fire
I guess I'll just swallow my fate
Jealousy is cheap and I'll buy it
Love's in the air and I hate the stench
They're holding hands and blocking the pavement
The fear of February is kicking in
But I'd rather touch a skunk than a hopeless man
[Chorus]
He's got no spine
He's got a wife
He's got no thoughts behind those eyes
He's got no job
His name is Josh
Can't hold a note to save his life
My stomach is turning
Don't know what I've done to deserve this
Tell me "someone's out there" one more time
You're gonna have a bullet for your valentine (Uh)
[Verse 2]
Maybe Mr Right is on another planet
Perhaps a glass closet isn't where they inhabit
Just want someone stuck to me like a magnet
Oh, I ghosted that one? Dammit
[Pre-Chorus]
My only single friend's out on a date
I hope that it ends in a fire
I guess I'll just swallow my fate
Jealousy is cheap and I'll buy it
Love's in the air and I hate the stench
They're holding hands and blocking the pavement
The fear of February is kicking in
But I'd rather kiss a frog than a brainless man
[Chorus]
He's got no spine
He's got a wife
He's got no thoughts behind those eyes
He's got no job
His name is Josh
Can't hold a note to save his life
My stomach is turning
Don't know what I've done to deserve this
Tell me "someone's out there" one more time
You're gonna have a bullet for your valentine
[Bridge]
If I talk to one more man who has no sense of humour, Imma blow
If this is it then I don't want 'em
Am I really gonna die alone?
(Hey)
[Chorus]
He's got no spine
He's got a wife
He's got no thoughts behind those eyes
He's got no job
His name is Josh
Can't hold a note to save his life
My stomach is turning
Don't know what I've done to deserve this
Tell me "someone's out there" one more time
You're gonna have a bullet for your valentine (Uh)
[Outro]
"Hey Kev, wanna go out with me?"
Ummm, I'm good thanks