Lyrics: Marc Shaiman/Scott Wittman
Music: Marc Shaiman/Scott Wittman
JERRY, SPOKEN: They just... they just killed those guys!
JOE, SPOKEN: To death!
JERRY, SPOKEN: We can't stay here, Chicago's too hot!
JOE, SPOKEN: Sweet Sue needs a sax and a bass, and she's gonna get 'em
From now on, I'm Jo…sephine, and you're Jer…aldine!
JERRY, SPOKEN: You've flipped your wig!
JOE, SPOKEN: Now you're talkin'!
We're going on tour with Sweet Sue's band
Once we get to San Diego, it's a hop, skip, and a jump to Mexico!
JERRY, SPOKEN: And how do you propose—?
JOE, SPOKEN: We'll make it up as we go!
It's like jazz, we'll just vamp
JERRY, SPOKEN: ''We'll just vamp'' is not a plan!
JOE, SPOKEN: Moment of truth, tied-brother
We gotta riff!
We gotta jam!
We gotta go!
JOE: When the club shuts down at two A.M
And most folks hit the hay
Well, we're two cats who love to jam
So we stay up and play
When someone hits a rhythm
Then a riff comes from a horn
Then we jump in and play it out
'Til a brand new song is born!
Well, this is like a late-night jam
But now it's just us two!
So 'til the tune is perfect, kiddo
You know what we have to do!
We'll just vamp, 'til we're ready
We'll just vamp, on moon and June
We'll just vamp, 'til the way to walk and talk flows like a tune!
We'll just vamp, 'til we find the groove that keeps us both alive
The Josephine and Geraldine save Joe and Jerry jive!
JERRY, SPOKEN: You're not hearing me, Joe
JOE, SPOKEN: You're right, I'm sorry
Let's hear your idea... Oh, you don't have one?!
Strip!
JOE: This girdle may be all that keeps us
From an early grave
Some nylons just might save us
But these legs will need a shave!
JERRY: Your magic can't protect us
JOE: And we do not own a gun
JERRY: Well, Joe, we're out of options
So like stockings, girl, let's run!
JOE: The girls we've known will now become
A note, a beat, a chord
So play it out and just put forth
Our musical, feminine Smörgåsbord!
BOTH: We'll just vamp, 'til we're ready
We'll just vamp, on moon and June
We'll just vamp, 'til the way to walk and talk flows like a tune!
We'll just vamp, 'til we hit the groove that lets us both survive
The Josephine and Geraldine save Joe and Jerry jive!
JOE: We've been watching women since we crawled out of the crib
JERRY: Yes, there's a woman in me, just think Adam and his rib
JOE: And for a voice, just think of every songbird we have backed
JERRY: Well, use the bitch
JOE: And make the switch
BOTH: Or this might be our final act!
JERRY: A wig is an accent
JOE: A stocking's a rest
BOTH: There's a harmony in this scent!
JOE: You'll be a sensation
JERRY: In the right foundation
JOE: Find the doll
Beneath the gent
JERRY: A skirt is a lick
JOE: A garter's a riff
JERRY: There's a melody in this glove!
JOE: Just make your pick 'til you're feeling diff—
JERRY: Who's that looker in the mirror? I think I'm in love!
JOE: The girl I'll be will use her hips
Just like a set of drums
She'll go boom-ba-da-boom-ba-da
Row, and hit the scene
Fellas, here she comes!
JERRY: I'll tiptoe like an opus
Yes, a symphony of strings
This fellow won't be mellow
More like Jell-O that's on springs!
JOE: Let's put it all together
Every color shape and size
JERRY: It's true, we're really in a jam
So, sister, time to improvise!
BOTH: Sister, time to improvise!
So let's vamp, 'til we're ready
We'll just vamp, on moon to June
We'll just vamp, 'til the way to walk and talk flows like a tune!
We'll just vamp, now we've got the theme to play when we arrive
The Josephine and Geraldine
The Josephine and Geraldine
The Josephine and Geraldine save Joe and Jerry
Jive-!