Lyrics: Kole Xidas
I never really learned how to start grieving
Anxiety got me choking, I don’t want to keep on breathing
In the waters of regret, I wish that I could forget
But the aftertaste sticks around like a broken cassette
Cold sweats laying on the carpet that I never wanted
Lookin’ at the closet doors to check if I have lost it yet
Reflection stares back, I hear my neck crack
It’s only a matter of time before it goes snap, uh!
Wish I could lеt go
Tired of the echo of thе whispers in the meadow
I’ve been hearing since the get-go
And I’m jealous of your misery
Do you even remember me?
I’m still where you left me
Bleeding out from my injuries
Won’t write your name in here like I’m writing in the Death Note
But I’ll have the heart attack if you ever see what I’ve wrote
It’s embarrassing
You’d think I’d stick to severing our ties
But the last time I thought of you I nearly ****in’ cried
You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel loved
So forgive me if I’m not above human weakness
Barely remember what happened between us
Maybe my catchphrase was wrong, thoughts like that keep me sleepless
Beauty doesn’t fade from view, we just move on to newer sparkles
Distracted by whatever most recently left us startled
Or maybe I’m just an asshole hung up on a fish hook
I’m tired of writing the same ****in’ chapters in this book
I ’m a failed author, that’s what Ryan said in 2018
Then I put out LIMBA when I was barely eighteen
Now I’m nearly twenty, and look what that effort got me
My own friends take my art as another method to mock me
Origami, folding shapes into something they’re not
Pretending that they’re special, but they ain’t part of the plot
Background character, a glorified extra
Ain’t nobody gonna get the reference to Vesta, so shut the **** up
Spelled my name wrong on the poster
Then ask why I never post her
Do I regret those late night convos where I got to know her?
No… well, it’ s complicated
It’s a kind of magic that’s left me intoxicated
There can be only one, and there ain’t a way to be pardoned
Hypnotized by emerald eyes, green like the highlands of Scotland
And I want you to know, that I still ain’t know how I feel
Sometimes I wonder if your actions were real
**** around in the waters and I drown
Hide the body, I ain’t want to be found
**** around in the waters and I drown
Yuh, ay
**** around in the waters and I drown
Hide the body, I ain’t want to be found
**** around in the waters and I drown
Yuh
**** around and taste my own blood in my mouth
No matter what, I can’t let my secrets out
Only way for me to go from here is South
Deeper into the swamps of green and brown
**** around in the waters and I drown
Hide the body, I ain’t want to be found
**** around in the waters and I drown
Yuh, ay