Music: Sebastian Lowe
These are the terms and conditions for living in the UK:
First abandon kindness; it's a fools game
Oh, it's a shame you went to state school in the first place
That'll keep you two steps down in the rat race
You need to learn to hate
America. Russia. Climate Change
China
Rich cunts and poor cunts, the weather and the tax rates
All the ****ers telling you to isolate
Labour and the Liberals and the Greens and the Tory state
Feminism, snowflakes, the EDL
Hate everyone and everything till you can't even stand yourself
Hate the fact you need money
Hate all those who want money
Hate the ****ing game and the taste for wealth
And find love
In beer and drugs and crime
The glory days before the others all arrived
Seek pride in your nations contribution in the war
Watch films about soldiers. Cry at what they died for
A **** ton of corruption in the houses and the courts
The Great British Arse that soars
Right before it shits all over its own people in hoardes
In education, policy, tooth and claw
And then somewhere, between the crackheads and the lords
And the people who believe 'em and the police force
Is a most glorious nation of pride and patience
No I'm only joking of course
We don't smile to much around here love
So wipe it off your face
Our terms and conditions consist of hate
Part two of the UK's terms and conditions
For all but the wealthy and the first class citizens
To anyone poor, or born outside of Britain
You must follow the following conditions Yes?
Okay so what you're saying is the rules don't apply
To anyone with a winning lottery ticket as a bloodline
No
The fact is in practice the rules do apply
With the exceptions of taxes and COVID guidelines
Amongst other things, you know, murder, lies-
With money there's no such thing as a crime!
Okay so what your saying is your conditions is money making
No, not money making, money taking
Money taking?
Yes, money taking, after that money saving
Placing, said money, in savings
So greed
Not greed, aspiration see!
Aspiration for those with a first class degree
Why of course and a delectable family tree
Your conditions favour the aristocracy
It's the equivalent to sitting in a stadium seat
You stand up for a better view; the guy behind can't see
Basically
Your Ts&Cs mean liberty
But freedom doesn't recognise poverty
Oh shit
So smile, smile, smile
As you have much to be thankful for
These terms and conditions were
Never truly yours...
For the taking!
Did you have me mistaken when you this country half way?
With the silly little dreams of a child half baked?
And the mind of an animal scrounging for bait?
Did you forget about me?
It seems you did
I'm the ****ing man!
I decide who lives and dies
You are nothing
But the blood between my eyes
And I decree with each part of me that you are doomed for all of time
To revoke my spell, sans protest
Please
Step in line