Opening Doors

by Jim Walton , Marianna Allen , Ann Morrison , Sally Klein , Jason Alexander , Lonny Price

📝 Lyrics

Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim Music: Stephen Sondheim [FRANK, spoken] How's it going?

[CHARLEY, spoken] Good. You?

[FRANK, spoken] Fair

[CHARLEY, spoken] Yeah, tell me

[The phone rings; FRANK answers.]

[FRANK, spoken] Chinese laundry

[MARY, spoken] Hi

[FRANK, spoken] Mary

[CHARLEY, spoken] Say hello

[MARY] I think I got a job

[FRANK, spoken] Where?

[MARY, spoken] True Romances

[FRANK, spoken] Posing?

[MARY, spoken] Thank you Writing captions

[FRANK, spoken] What about the book?

[MARY, spoken] What about the book?

[FRANK, spoken] Nothing, are you working on your book?

[MARY, spoken] Yes... [FRANK, spoken] Good

[MARY, spoken] No...

[FRANK, spoken] Mary—

[MARY, spoken] Right, I know, yes, me and Balzac...

[CHARLEY] I finished the one-act

[FRANK] I got an audition—

[MARY] I started the story

[FRANK] Rehearsal pianist

[CHARLEY] So where are we eating? [MARY] I'm moving to Playboy

[FRANK] The publisher called me

[CHARLEY] I'm doing a rewrite

[MARY] My parents are coming

[FRANK] I saw My Fair Lady

[CHARLEY] I rewrote the rewrite

[FRANK] I sort of enjoyed it

[MARY] I threw out the story

[CHARLEY] I'm meeting an agent

[FRANK, CHARLEY & MARY] We'll all get together on Sunday We're opening doors Singing, "Here we are!" We're filling up days on a dime That faraway shore's Looking not too far We're following every star— There's not enough time!

[FRANK] I called a producer

[CHARLEY] I sent off the one-act

[MARY] I started the story

[FRANK] He said to come see him

[CHARLEY] I dropped out of college

[MARY] I met this musician

[FRANK] I'm playing a nightclub

CHARLEY They're doing my one-act!

[MARY] I'm moving to Redbook

[FRANK] I rewrote the ballad

MARY I finished the story

[CHARLEY] We started rehearsals

[MARY] I threw out the story And then the musician I'm moving to Popular Science

[FRANK, CHARLEY & MARY] We're opening doors Singing, "Look who's here!" Beginning to sail on a dime That faraway shore's Getting very near! We haven't a thing to fear— We haven't got time!

[FRANK] Bum-bum-bum-da-da da-da Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum bum-ba

[FRANK, spoken] How's it coming?

[CHARLEY, spoken] Good. You?

[FRANK, spoken] Done!

[CHARLEY, spoken] One minute...

[The phone rings; FRANK answers.]

[FRANK, spoken] Hamburg Heaven

[MARY, spoken] Hi

[FRANK, spoken] Mary

[CHARLEY, spoken] Say hello

[MARY] I got another job

[FRANK, spoken] Where?

[MARY, spoken] "Chic"

[FRANK, spoken] What's that?

[MARY, spoken] A brand-new concept: Pop-up pictures

[FRANK, spoken] What about the book?

[MARY, spoken] What about the book?

[FRANK, spoken] Did you give the publisher the book?

[MARY, spoken] Yes...

[FRANK, spoken] Good

[MARY, spoken] No...

[FRANK, spoken] Mary—

[MARY, spoken] Look, I never—

[CHARLEY, spoken] Finished!

[FRANK, spoken] Let me call you back

[MARY, spoken] Right

[CHARLEY, spoken] This is just a draft

[FRANK, spoken] Right

[CHARLEY, spoken] Probably it stinks

[FRANK, spoken] Right

[CHARLEY, spoken] I haven't had the time to do a polish—

[FRANK, spoken] Will you sing!

[CHARLEY, spoken] Right!

[CHARLEY] Who wants to live in New York? Who wants the worry, the noise, the dirt, the heat? Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street? Suddenly I do...

[During the above, JOE JOSEPHSON has appeared and starts to listen judiciously: FRANK and CHARLEY are auditioning for him.]

[CHARLEY] They're always popping their cork—

[CHARLEY, spoken] I hate that line—

[CHARLEY] The cops, the cabbies, the salesgirls up at Saks You gotta have a real taste for maniacs— Suddenly I do!

[JOE] That's great! That's swell! The other stuff as well It isn't every day I hear a score this strong But fellas, if I may There's only one thing wrong:

There's not a tune you can hum There's not a tune you go bum-bum-bum-di-dum— You need a tune to go bum-bum-bum-di-dum— Give me a melody!

Why can't you throw 'em a crumb? What's wrong with letting 'em tap their toes a bit? I'll let you know when Stravinsky has a hit Give me some melody!

Ah sure, I know It's not that kind of show But can't you have a score That's sort of in between? Look, play a little more I'll show you what I mean!

[CHARLEY] Who wants to live in New York? I always hated the dirt, the heat, the noise But ever since I met you, I—

[JOE] Listen, boys Maybe it's me But that's just not a Hum-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mable melody! Write more, work hard— Leave your name with the girl Less avant-garde— Leave your name with the girl Just write a plain old melodee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee

[CHARLEY] They're stopping rehearsals They ran out of money

[MARY] We lasted one issue My book was rejected

[FRANK] The nightclub was raided I have to start coaching

[MARY] My parents are coming

[CHARLEY] They screwed up the laundry

[FRANK] My wallet was stolen

[MARY] I saw the musician

[CHARLEY] We're being evicted

[MARY] I'm having a breakdown

[FRANK, CHARLEY & MARY] We'll all get together on Sunday They're slamming the doors Singing, "Go away!" It's less of a sail than a climb That faraway shore's Farther every day We're learning to ricochet We still have a lot to say...

[FRANK] You know what we'll do?

[CHARLEY, spoken] What?

[FRANK] We'll do a revue

[CHARLEY, spoken] What?

[MARY, spoken] What?

[FRANK] We'll do a revue of our own!

[MARY, spoken] What?

[CHARLEY, spoken] Where?

[MARY, spoken] Why?

[CHARLEY, spoken] When?

[FRANK, spoken] Not just songs, but stories, scenes Piano pieces, mime—

[CHARLEY, spoken] Yeah!

[MARY, spoken] "Frankly Frank!"

[FRANK] A showcase of our own!

[CHARLEY, spoken] Where?

[FRANK, spoken] The club's reopening.

[MARY, spoken] We'll write a lot of new stuff—

[CHARLEY, spoken] Rewrite old stuff—

[FRANK, spoken] What about the girl?

[CHARLEY, spoken] What about the girl?

[FRANK, spoken] Only that we're gonna need a girl

[CHARLEY, spoken] Well, Mary—

[MARY, spoken] Thanks, I don't perform except at dinner

[TWO GIRLS hold rehearsal copies of music, ready to audition. The FIRST GIRL starts, singing shrilly and off-key as FRANK plays.]

[FIRST GIRL] Who wants to live in New York? Who wants the worry, the noise, the dirt, the heat? Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street?

[FRANK, spoken] Thank you for coming Next eight, please

[BETH] They're always popping their cork—

[FRANK, spoken] Up a tone

[BETH] The cops, the cabbies, the salesgirls up at Saks—

[FRANK, spoken] Up a tone

[BETH] You gotta have a real taste for maniacs—

[FRANK, spoken] Thank you You're hired

[BETH, spoken] Oh!

[BETH] I'm Beth

[FRANK] I'm Frank

[BETH] I really thought I stank

[MARY] I'm Mary

[CHARLEY] Charley

[FRANK] By the way I'm told we open Saturday

[CHARLEY, MARY & BETH] What?!

[MARY] You're not serious!

[CHARLEY] Nobody's ready!

[FRANK] Apparently somebody cancelled a booking

[CHARLEY] The songs aren't finished

[MARY] And what about costumes?

[BETH] And how do I learn all these numbers?

[FRANK] I'll bring you the copies of everything later this evening

[CHARLEY] Not to mention I still haven't Finished the Synanon song or the Kennedy number...

[BETH] Okay, but I'll have to have all the music And Saturday I've got to sing at a wedding Oh God, is there dancing, 'cause I'm not a dancer

[FRANK] You don't have to, we'll segue the End of it into the dance we cut out...

[MARY] And have we decided or not on the restaurant sketch? I need two or three days at the least to replace it...

[CHARLEY] And what'll we do about getting publicity Run around town putting stickers on windows?

[FRANK] No, we'll use it but not with the long introduction...

[FRANK, CHARLEY, MARY & BETH] We'll worry about it on Sunday!

We're opening doors Singing, "Here we are!" We're filling up days on a dime That faraway shore's looking not too far We're following every star— There's not enough time!

We're banging on doors Shouting, "Here again!" We're risking it all on a dime That faraway shore's looking near again The only thing left is when We know we should count to ten— We haven't got time! We haven't got time!