Lyrics: Dave Malloy
Music: Dave Malloy
SHELOB
and now, this is how things stood:
poor lonely beckett stayed in his basement
stewing in his darkness
sinking further and further
Into a pit of self-flagellating despair
meanwhile shelob spun her webs
feeding on poor beckett’s gloom
while the wolf slowly circled
devising various schemes
to try to get in and devour beckett whole
(a knock at the door.)
WOLF
hello? is anyone home?
BECKETT (sotto voce)
don’t move
don’t make a sound
WOLF
i’m looking for a mister eriks andersons
this is his last known addrеss
you got any information on him?
BECKETT
don’t let anyone in
WOLF
i’m masked. no need to worry—
SHELOB
strangеr at the door beckett?
BECKETT
that’s death out there!
SHELOB
once a month or so
he’d try to perk himself up
through the manic ordering
of new age self-help books
crystals
tarot cards
candles
incense
celtic bells and an aeolian harp—
BECKETT
putting my amazon prime to work!
SHELOB
trying to cleanse his spirit
he had basically stopped bathing at this point—
(phone ring.)
SADIE (as work)
beckett? it’s work again
hey, i know this is a hard time. but we need those reports…give me a call
BECKETT
i could feel myself slipping
oh yeah i could feel myself slipping hard
(phone ring.)
SADIE (on the phone, as sister)
beckett? it’s your sister
i’ve got some good news for once. we’re getting married! obviously we’re not gonna do a big wedding. just family and close friends, outside. hope you can make it
anyway give me call, haven’t heard your voice in a while
BECKETT (staring at the pendulum)
but there’s this thing, right?
when you’re mental health is slipping…
it’s like
how serious is it, really?
how serious is it?
how serious is it?
SHELOB
beckett, my collection of flies is growing
would you mind terribly if i stretched out a bit more?
BECKETT (still staring at the pendulum)
maybe i’ll go out tomorrow
SHELOB
i’ll just stretch out on this transom
(another knock at the door.)
WOLF (in a funny voice)
hello? is there a mister beckett here?
the super sent us, we need access to the meter
BECKETT
i can’t do this
gramps?
(louder knock.)
WOLF
c’mon buddy we know you’re in there
(phone ring.)
SADIE (on the phone, as work)
beckett? it’s work
give us a call if you want to discuss our last email
we just hope you’re…hope you’re okay
SHELOB
you don’t need them beckett. plenty of work to do here
(phone ring.)
SADIE (on the phone, as sister)
beckett? it’s your sister
mmmmmmmm…i’m pregnant! due in february. i still can’t believe it…
(louder knock.)
did you get the wedding photos we sent?
BECKETT
i need protection—
(louder knock.)
WOLF
look we need access buddy!
BECKETT (shouting)
go away go away go away!