Before we go forward,let's rewind
To when Lu and Lilith damned mankind
Gave Eve a red delicious,heaven's rage was vicious
Now let's skip a page or three or four to be more expeditious
Charlie Morningstar, Lucifer's daughter,
Have a little plan to save the damned from the slaughter
Made a hotel for the people of hell, to come and redeem themselves, and wellβ¦
Heaven's general, Adam from the Garden,
loved killing sinners, wouldn't grant them a pardon
He sealed their fate and moved up the date of the next extermination, which was less than great for
Our girl Charlie, so desperate to show
sinners could learn to repent,do good deeds and grow
She sang some malarkey forgiving a spy
And yours truly fed a TV head a slice of humble pie
Then I went to a meeting with Carmilla, the top shelf overlord weapons dealer
Velvette pressed her to reveal, she killed and angel with angelic steel
Now Angel Dust did a saucy dance, a tragic victim of circumstance
He and Husk had a heart-to-heart
Did anyone actually like this part?
Our girl Charlie called her absent pops
That corny mother-ducking king pulled out all the stops,
Mimzy barged in, and no one liked that
And me and Husker had ourselves a friendly little chat
Then Charlie went to heaven, where she wasn't fully welcomed
Tried to tell them about the progress she had made
The council looked down upon the merry band of Angel, Pen and Cherri andβ¦
determined they were vermin who deserved to meet the blade
Em and Sera had a fight, buried secrets came to light
Vaggie fought for those above, she fell from grace and fell in love
Our girl Charlie was in quite a bind
I took pity brought her round to Rosie's to find
Her cannibal army, they lent her an ear
Carmilla taught old Vaggie how to handle her spear
The day arrived of the dreaded exorcism
Pentious died of attempted heroism
I got a little hurt, we put Adam in the dirt
Niffty scored the final blow, though I did almost all the work
As dust cleared on a hell changed forever, the gang rebuilt their pointless hotel together
I have plans to put in motion, there's a moment here to seize
though I had a sneaking notion the same Β goes for the Vees
Who will be victorious? Will someone be redeemed?
And that is where the story is if all is as it seemed
Who knows what twists the future has in store?
You may laugh, you may cry, you may lose your mind-
BUT YOU ARE SURE AS HELL WON'T BE BORED!
Keyboard: Andrew Underberg/Sam Haft
Vocals: Amir Talai/Hazbin Hotel