Music: Joe Iconis
[THE SQUIP] Christine is begging for assistance, Jeremy!
She's helpless and craving
She clearly needs saving
And you hold the key
Wo-ah!
Jeremy
If you get her corrected
You'll both be connected
Literally
Wo-oah
She's lost and overcome with hesita-a-ation
She wished she knew what life was all about
A SQUIP can fix her current situa-ation
Things improve without a doubt
It'll be you who helped her out
Let's save the pitiful children
[ALL] Woah
[THE SQUIP] Let's save the pitiful children
[THE SQUIP & ALL] Woah
[THE SQUIP] Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue
Just what to do
He-elp them to he-e-elp you
[JEREMY, spoken] Ladies' running shoes? There's gotta be enough SQUIPS in here for..
[THE SQUIP, spoken] The entire school? Now put those pills in that beaker and fill it with Mountain Dew!
(sung) Can you see the vision clearly, Jeremy?
People embracing
And interfacing
Beep bop boop boop
Christine will be so thoroughly deli-i-ghted
When you improve the lives of all her peers
Sync the school, get everyone united
Jocks and geeks will hug and chat, while--
[JENNA ROLAN, spoken] Scuse me, what the frick is that?
[JEREMY, spoken] A supercomputer from Japan that solves all your problems...
Uh, and mountain dew
[JENNA ROLAN, spoken] Okay!
(sung) Ah, yeah!
[JEREMY & THE SQUIP] Let's save the pitiful children!
[JENNA ROLAN] Wo-oah
[JEREMY & THE SQUIP] Let's save the pitiful children!
[JENNA ROLAN] Beep bop boo beep bop boo beep bop boo beep
[JEREMY & THE SQUIP] Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue
[THE SQUIP] Just what to do
He-elp them to he-elp you
[JENNA ROLAN] (vocalizing)
[INSTRUMENTAL]
[JEREMY & THE SQUIP & ALL] Let's save the pitiful children
[THE SQUIP] Beep beep beep beep boop
[ALL] Let's save the pitiful children
[THE SQUIP] SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP
[ALL] Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue
[THE SQUIP] If that's what we do
If that's what we do
Then
[ALL] Everything about us is going to be wonderful
[STUDENTS] We love everything about SQUIPs
[ALL] Everything about us is going to be so alive
[STUDENTS] We could never live without SQUIPs
[THE SQUIP] You won't feel left out or unsure
[ALL] Not pitiful children anymore
'Cause
Everything about us is going to be cool
When... we... rule!