Lyrics: Jacob Loaiza
Music: Jacob Loaiza
I'm just getting done
Waiting for the sickness
To take me away
And I'll fight it
I don't need no more
And I already died
Already dead inside
I commit suicide
Every night when I break a new seal
I run away from myself
Every chance that I get
Cause it's easy
It's too hard to heal
Never accepted by anyone ever
But f**k all them people
And f**k how they feel
Exhausted I'm tired
Don't wanna keep going
I flirt with the percocet
Xanax and steel
I make the room spin
By now I'm use to it's sickening movement
It's an illusion
It's a reminder
That my time is loomng
Hardly a human
I'm just a vassal
The chemicals use me
It's so confusing
Did I choose them?
I don't know
Did they choose me?
I'm just getting done
Waiting for the sickness
To take me away
And I'll fight it
I don't need no more
And I already died
Controlled like a voodoo doll
Life's sticking pins in me
Cursed I deserve it
I don't want your sympathy
No going back
I can't do no shit differently
Can't help but laugh
What the hell's gotten into me?
My imperfections
Twisted obsessions
Manic depression
Thousands of questions
Sad adolescence
Bad first impressions
Big disconnections
Valuable lessons
Why do I constantly have to start over?
For once in my life
Can I finally have closure?
For once in my life
Can I keep my composure?
I stay ****ing up
And I never stay sober
Was I always meant to be just mediocre?
At this rate I'm finished
I'll never get older
Internal fight with myself
I'm bipolar
I walk a fine line
Between chaos and order
I'm just getting done
Waiting for the sickness
To take me away
And I'll fight it
I don't need no more
And I already died
I'm throwing up words
Cause I can't stomach
The things that I'm thinking and feeling
Don't wanna reveal all the secrets I'm keeping
But if I don't do this
My heart won't start beating
Pills put me to sleep
But they made me stop dreaming
Defeated
I'm weak in a war
Without reason
I'm blind when I drink
I don't know what I'm seeing
I'm right on the brink
On the edge
I've been fiending
I make the room spin
By now I'm use to it's sickening movement
It's an illusion
It's a reminder
That my time is loomng
Hardly a human
I'm just a vassal
The chemicals use me
It's so confusing
Did I choose them?
I don't know
Did they choose me?
I'm just getting done
Waiting for the sickness
To take me away
And I'll fight it
I don't need no more
And I already died
DempseyRollBoy
In a world of my own..