Lyrics: Alex Benson
Music: Alex Benson
Attention! Breaking news!
The world is getting worse, and you are too
Yeah, attention! Breaking news!
The cats are all gone, so is the color blue
Yes, attention! Breaking news!
You just got gum stuck to both of your shoes
Yeah, attention! Breaking news!
Over half of the time, you will always lose
New research says you annoy all of your friends
You're behind on the latest collectible trends
All the trees burned down (thΠ΅re are no more trees)
ThΠ΅ sky is turning purple (and the kids are catching fleas)
Now, for tonight's top story
Theme Park Terror strikes at Freedom Kingdom
The animatronic Abraham Lincoln from the Presidential Log Ride has reportedly escaped the park
Police are reporting that the android removed the rubber faces from the rest of the animatronic presidents
And was last seen boarding a shuttle headed off-world
Officials are warning all citizens of neighboring planets to report any suspicious activity
The android is presumed armed and dangerous