Music: Michael R. Jackson USHER: I am a Disney usher I'm barely scraping by My discontentment comes in many shapes and sizes But I woke up this morning I told myself to try I told myself that I would make no compromises Today... A meeting with my landlord Who makes me miss my train And I smell awful cause there is no time to shower I plaster on a smile Pretend I have no brain Make nice with a*****e tourists hour after hour Today... Today, I plan to change my whole life forever THOUGHT: Usher, surprise! How you doin'? It's your daily self-loathing! I had some time to kill So I thought I'd drop by to remind you just how truly worthless you are! THOUGHT: Hey Usher, how you doin'? It's your financial faggotry and baby We need to chat about this situation with Shitty Bank Student Loans USHER: Rewrite that shitty lyric To make the ending land Condense the repetition to its most essential Define a formal structure So people understand Pull out the stops to show his story's full potential Today... Today, I plan to change this show for the better THOUGHT: Usher? Head of corporate niggatry here Just checking in to see if you found your unapologetic Blackness yet 'Cause your numbers are in the toilet with the Black Excellence crowd and you're real close to cancellation. Coon! THOUGHT: Usher, as supervisor of your sexual ambivalence You can rest assured that I have sealed the gates of your body and mind- So that nothing can get inside your shitty b******e until you give the word USHER: I want to break the cycle That's so ingrained in me But change comes way too slow And I am in a hurry There's all of this rejection Which brings such misery But with my white girl music I drown out the flurry of Today... I am a Disney usher I'm barely scraping by My discontentment comes in many shapes and sizes When I wake up each morning I tell myself to try I tell myself that I will make no compromises So days like this just get me I hate days like today Days when I face myself But see the same reflection Someone who's stuck rewriting And stuck in his own way Someone who plans to edit every imperfection Today... Today I plan to change myself - THOUGHT: Oh girl, whatever!