Lyrics: Joshua Idehen
Music: Ludvig Parment
The world
according to your mum doing the washing
Capitalism:
your mum does the washing.
You pay her a dollar.
You get her to do your mates washing.
Your mate pays you 50 dollars
Communism:
your mum does the washing.
You do the washing.
Every night you salute a photo of your dad.
Socialism:
your mum does the washing.
You do the cooking.
Everybody is happy, in theory.
Feudalism:
your mum does the washing
and pays you tax
Colonialism:
you barge into mum’s room.
Claim you “discovered” her room.
Dump your dirty clothes on the floor
Fascism:
your mum does the washing
And you are obsessed with with her nose
Liberalism:
you watch your mum do the washing
and you feel really really bad.
“Something must be done” you say.
Something may or may not get done
Libertarianism:
Your mum does the washing.
You believe you did the washing
Religion:
your mum does the washing. You thank god
Atheism:
your mum does the washing.
You make a 12 part YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence that she did,
in fact, do the washing
Zionism:
You shoved your Mum into the washing machine
and the spinning made her dizzy.
And that dizziness made her vomit.And you point at that vomit and call it anti-Semitism.
Americanism:
your mum does the washing.
It’s in the constitution.
END OF DISCUSSION
Mansplaining:
your mum does the washing.
You tell her how best to do the washing.
You have never done the washing.
Same sex marriage:
Your mums do the washing.
Patriarchy:
your mum doesn’t exist.
The washing is mysteriously done
Terfism:
your mum doesn't want your other mum doing the washing
because of…like…genitals and stuff
Polling:
there's a 70% chance you will do your washing on Saturday night
Come Sunday morning
it was 100% done by your mum
Africanism:
you go 2 bennys house
bennys mum does the washing
You ask your mum why she doesn't do the washing
You do not survive the night
Feminism:
your mum insists you grow up
and do your own washing
White feminism:
your mum hired a woman of colour to do the washing
Male feminism:
that one time I did the washing told everyone I did the washing
I blogged about it
I bragged about it
Took a selfie
Insta story
Went on TV
Won an Oscar
Went on fort nite
And did a dance
I’m an ally
Hashtag me too
Egalitarianism:
that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal
and no one needs feminism any more
Hip Hop:
everyday im hustling every day I’m hustling
when I bring the basket/mama put the washing in
Narcissism:
You look good in the clothes your mum washed
Surrealism
the washing does your mum