Lyrics: Rj Williams
"Verse 1: My life is fully deary
I sit with the gun in my lap
My friend asked if I'm ready
He already witnessed my life collapsed
The world is scary
People usually asked how I'm doing
Mostly to people it varies
But mines suck so bad I rather be buried
I put the gun to my temple
My friend started to close his eyes
He doesn’t want to be there
He just doesn’t want to leave me on the floor when I dry
I see a tear roll down his face
He thought about all the memories we created day to day
I said I'm sorry
I pulled the trigger and
Hook: I want to kill myself
I know I have bad mental health
I want to kill myself
I gave up on asking for help
I try
I try
I try
I try to get through this
But screw it
I want to kill myself
It's better than going through hell
Verse 2: The gun jammed
Damn!
Is that a sign to maybe think about it
My friend eyes slowly open
He thought I had cold feet
I decide to reload it
I continue to hold it
I was about to try again
Suddenly my mom ran in
And screamed "Don't do it!"
She cried "Why you want to this?"
I'm answered, "You don't understand!"
She took my hand and she said, "Give me a chance."
I explained to her about the depression that was lurking.
She said that was the enemy.
She gave me sympathy.
Hook: I want to kill myself
I know I have bad mental health
I want to kill myself
I gave up on asking for help
I try
I try
I try
I try to get through this
I try to get through this
But screw it
I want to kill myself
It's better than going through hell
Verse 3: They told me that they were going to help me.
I told her that I'm to far gone
I'm on empty
But I looked in her eyes and new I can't go yet
She asked "Are you going to give it another go?"
I answered "Yes! I guess it's for the best."
I went to the hospital and got treatment
Two weeks later I came back and I spirit had better improvement
They welcome me back with heavy arms
I guess that was God saving me when he had the gun disarmed.
Bridge: I felt like I was speeding excessively on the freeway
I felt like I was his slave
They told me to pray
But I gave up God
I felt that he put me in that place
But I wondered how my mom would take it
Thinking about giving her that pain made me think I should try again.
Maybe this time I could make.
(Guitar Solo)
Hook: I saved myself
I used to have bad Mental Health
I wanted to kill myself
But God gave me help
I tried
I tried
I tried
I tried to get through it
Now I’m no longer sick
I don’t want to kill myself
Because I’ve survived hell"