Lyrics: Nathan Tysen
Music: Jason Howland
[NICK]Okay, Nick you're now inside a
Secret small apartment up in Sugarhill
[CATHERINE]My sister Myrtle said you were a ten. You're a four
[NICK]When Tom and Myrtle got here
They went straight into the bedroom
And they're in there still
[CATHERINE]These are the McKees. They like to watch!
[NICK]So I'm stuck makin' small talk
While they f*** a few feet away
Smilin' at strangers
Who all look at me like I'm their prey
I close my eyes but all I see
Is the glowing face of Daisy Fay
[MRS. MCKEE]Mr. McKee has taken two hundred and twenty seven photographs of me
[MR MCKEE]Two-twenty eight
[NICK]I never should have come here
As my palms begin to sweat
I need a dose of culture
And I need a cigarette
Oh, they really
Should've dropped me
At The Met
[NICK]I'm not drinkin'
[TOM]I'm not drinkin' alone
[MRS. MCKEE]Love the dress. Love!
[MYRTLE]This crazy old thing? I just slip it on when I don't really care what I look like
[CATHERINE]The tag's still on it
[NICK]I said just one drink but if I lowball it I'm guessin'
This is number three
[TOM]Bedroom's free if you wanna shake the sheets with Catherine
[NICK]All that I can think of is that ill-considered favor
Gatsby asked of me
[CATHERINE]In the bedroom lighting, I'm an eight
[NICK]When I got here
I should've said I wouldn't be stayin' long
Everyone is flirtin' now
And they're all comin' on too strong
At least the Midwest blessed me
With a stellar sense of right and wrong
[MR MCKEE]Mrs. McKee and I have an open relationship. She has sex with other people, and I'm open to it
[NICK]I need a cup of coffee
As the sun begins to set
They sang "Ain't We Got Fun?" so loud
It's sounding like a threat
Oh, they really
Should've dropped me
At The Met
[CATHERINE]Jay Gatsby? The millionaire on Long Island? He's a five
[NICK, spoken]But would you go to tea with him?
[CATHERINE]No, but only because tea makes me vomit
[MR. MCKEE]I'd love to do more work on Long Island, if I could gain entry
[NICK]People disappear and reappear
And then they lose each other in the fray
[TOM]Do you like polo ponies?
[MYRTLE]Tom!
[NICK]They search for each other
And are reunited only a few feet away
[MYRTLE]That's my sister!
[TOM]Oh, relax, Myrtle
[NICK]There's a flash and a crash
Over the oversized furniture
I look around for Catherine
And I find that I'm on top of her
And all of this is captured
By the greedy-eyed photographer
[MR. MCKEE]I want to capture your musk
[NICK]Who stalks me like a vulture
Here's a night I'll soon regret
She's got another bottle
So this isn't over yet
Oh, they really
Should've dropped me
At The Met
[MYRTLE]Don't you treat me that way! Don't you flirt with my sister!
[TOM]Cool it, Myrtle!
[MYRTLE]Would you do that to Daisy, huh?
[TOM]You don't mention Daisy!
[MYRTLE]Oh, why not. You take shots at George every chance you can get, but Daisy is off limits?
[TOM]I'm warning you. Myrtle!
[MYRTLE]Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. I'll say it whenever I want. Daisy!
[MYRTLE]You broke my nose! You broke my nose!
[CATHERINE]You broke my sister's nose!
[TOM]It was an accident
[CATHERINEn]Don't touch her!
[MYRTLE]Don't you touch me, I'll call the cops!
[NICK]If I wondered whether Tom's an asshole
Tom's an asshole, he removed all doubt
And Gatsby's proposition is the only thing
My spinning mind can think about
I just sink in a sofa as the night grows more dim
God, what a coward
Should have torn the bastard limb from limb
But maybe there's another way
That I can still get back at him
Yes. Please connect me with Jay Gatsby