Lyrics: Rob Rokicki
Music: Rob Rokicki
PERCY: Wow, maybe your mom should've totally chilled
Instead of making monsters that get us all killed!
ANNABETH: Well, maybe your dad should've picked a better place
All he did was diss her with disgrace
GROVER: Guys, calm it down with all life's stresses
It ain't worth cleaning up your parents' messes
Now ask me where we are, I'll give you three guesses!
(spoken) Ask me!
PERCY & ANNABETH: Where are we?
GROVER: (sung) We're in the same bo-o-oat
In the very same bo-o-oat
PERCY & ANNABETH: I'd like to wrap my hands around that half-blood's throat!
ANNABETH: Don't need to heed a talking goat!
GROVER: The same bo-o-o-o-o-oat
We're in the same boat!
(spoken) And look what I found at Medusa's place!
PERCY: Three Amtrak tickets?
GROVER: Why run from monsters when we can ride?
(sung) We're in the same tra-a-ain
In the very same tra-a-ain
PERCY: With Anna-blegh!
ANNABETH: And Seaweed Brain!
PERCY: You're so high-strung
ANNABETH: Well, you're insane!
GROVER: The same tra-a-a-a-ain
We're in the same train!
CONDUCTOR: (spoken) Last stop, Denver, Colorado!
PERCY: Wow, check out those rocky mountains!
ANNABETH: You mean the Rocky Mountains?
GROVER: That is so beautiful. I need a veggie burger!
ARES: Did someone say 'veggie burger?'
GROVER: Sweet!
ANNABETH: Wait, does anyone else find this suspicious?
ARES: Roll with it. It's not every day you get a veggie burger from a god.
Ares, god of war! Maybe you've met my daughter, Clarisse?
Woah, woah, woah, relax, I come in peace!
I hear you runts are headed to Hades, but you'll never make it on public transportation.
I can take you as far as Vegas. Y'all cool with motorcycles, right?
PERCY & GROVER: Sweet!
ANNABETH: Wait!
PERCY, ANNABETH & GROVER: (sung) We're on the same bi-i-ike!
On the very same bi-i-ike!
ANNABETH: There's lots about this that I don't like!
Can we trust this guy?
PERCY: You could always hike!
ALL THREE: The same bi-i-i-i-ike
We're on the same bike!
ARES: (spoken) Vegas, baby! Forgettin' somethin'? This is where I get off
GROVER: That guy is so cool!
ANNABETH: Okay, gang, we need a place to spend the night
PERCY: Uh, how 'bout here? The Lotus Hotel
ANNABETH: You're joking, right? In the Odyssey, if you went to sleep in a lotus bed, one night could last a hundred years!
PERCY: Well, I'm sure that's irrelevant. Uh, excuse me, miss, how long have you been at this hotel?
BIANCA DI ANGELO: Why, my brother and I arrived just yesterday, May 1st, 1939!
PERCY & GROVER: Ahh!
ANNABETH: Taxi!
GROVER: (sung) Bada badada ba ba badada
Bada badada ba ba badada
GROVER & PERCY: Bada badada ba ba badada
Bada badada ba ba badada
ANNABETH: Athena, give me strength so I don't kill him!
Mother, guide with your wisdom, lend me some sense
I defend you, but I only tend to will him
To get more and more defensive
Terse and tense!
Mother? Figures...
PERCY: (spoken) Los Angeles!
ANNABETH: (sung) It's strange
Sometimes I think I'm dreaming
It's messed up, but he's kinda cute
When he's angry and all screamy
He's so weird
But a good weird
Our parents' paths are pushing us apart
And my head is always stronger than my heart
If only he would say something that was remotely smart!
PERCY: (spoken) I got it. The map was upside down
ANNABETH: Ugh!
PERCY: Here we are, DOA Records
GROVER: I kinda figured there'd be monsters
PERCY: Yeah, uh, who knew that the lobby to the Underworld would be so...
ANNABETH: Dead?
CHARON: Going down? No sobs, no screaming, and no getting seasick!
PERCY: How do you get seasick in an elevator? Boat!
ANNABETH: (sung) The way to the Underworld is over the Styx
It's a river
PERCY: I know, you showoff
Chicks
ANNABETH: Sexist, much?
Go make a splash
PERCY: I'll splash you
GROVER: It's like watching titans clash
They'll kill each other, or they'll kiss
If we're lucky, they'll end up in an abyss
CHARON: I've seen some messed up stuff
But nothing quite like this
ANNABETH: (spoken) If you'd just listen
PERCY: If you'd stop criticizing me!
(PERCY & ANNABETH continue arguing)
GROVER: (sung) We're in the same bo-o-oat
In the literal bo-o-oat
I'm trying to stay afloat above the lava moat
Have you even heard a word coming from my throat?
The same bo-o-woah, woah, woah!
We're in the same...
ALL THREE: AHH!!!
ANNABETH: (spoken) Did we just... almost die?
PERCY: I feel something strange
CHARON: Is it.. seasickness?
PERCY: Perspective. That stuff with our parents, it's ancient history
ANNABETH: And who says history has to repeat itself?
GROVER: Say it! Say it! You know you wanna say it! Just say it already!
PERCY & ANNABETH: (sung) We're in the same bo-o-oat
GROVER: (spoken) Yes! Weird guy!
CHARON: (sung) In the very same bo-wo-woat
GROVER: (spoken) Everybody now!
ALL: (sung) We're in the same...
GROVER: Baa!
ALL: Boat!