Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! I bet you kids think you know all about Christmas, don't you? Well, I'll tell you a little secret.
We work hard up here at the old North Pole and we only get one day off a year, so we really make the most of it!
You've heard how Santa rides around on Christmas Eve
And all that jingle-jangle blah-blah-blah
But did you know on Christmas Day
When he puts away his sleigh
He throws the hottest office party that you ever saw?
And we're all rock-rock-rocking around the pole
Where the Northern Lights are bright
Rock-rock-rocking around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night
We don't serve milk and cookies
We've got gin and scotch
And so much mistletoe
Elves are dancing on the tables
And streaking through the stables
And making out in corners like a ho, ho, ho
Oh, we're lighting up the tree
And playing truth or dare
And swinging from the chandelier
And when we hang a stocking on a doorknob don't come knocking
And hey, who took the sleigh out on a run for more beer
We're rock-rock-rocking around the pole
Where the Northern Lights are bright
Rock-rock-rocking around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night
There's one thing every girl and boy should know
It's that elves can't hold their booze
Jinx and Sugarplum are flying
And Joy is straight-up crying
And Pixie and Gingersnap got tattoos
And Mrs. Claus cranks the music 'cause
She knows how to entertain, dear
And Santa shouts, "Hey, Mrs. Claus
You rock the pole, and I'll make it reindeer
You rock the pole, and I'll make it reindeer"
Rock-rock-rocking around the pole
Where the Northern Lights are bright
Rock-rock-rocking around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night
We've waited very patient
For one day of vacation
The dancers on the floor
Are hot as a menorah
And Cupid's acting stupid
And Comet starts to vomit
No children are invited' Cause this party is the bomb
It's rock-rock-rocking around the pole
Where the Northern Lights are bright
Rock-rock-rocking around the pole
We'll rock that pole all night
Well, we'll rock the pole
Oh, it's out of control
Tomorrow, we'll have traces
Of eggnog in weird places
We'll rock that pole
All night
Santa Claus: Take tomorrow off, too!