Lyrics: Tim Minchin
Music: Tim Minchin
My mummy says I'm a miracle
My daddy says I'm his special little guy
I am a princess
And I am a prince
Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky
My daddy says I'm his special little soldier
No one is as bold or tough as me
Has my daddy told you
One day when I'm older
I can be a soldier
And punch you in the face
Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here
I know we oughtn't say this but she's clearly cuter than her peers
What a dear
Yoo-hoo, honey, look at mummy
Try not to vomit on your brother
Now smile for mummy
Smile for mother
I think she blinked
Well, take another
Have you seen what he can do?
Is that unusual for day two
Is smiling early not a sign of an exceptional IQ?
She's just delightful
So intuitive
So insightful
Might he be a little brighter than the norm
I know to say it's frightful form
Take another!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see.
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical.
There's never been a miracle
As factually spectacularly
Actually miraculously
Fabulous a miracle as me
A baby?
I'm not having a baby.
What on earth gives you that idea?
I'm not listening to this, this is quackery.
But you're about to give birth.
Are you out of your mind...?
Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction.
I'm not having contractions.
Contractions are for pregnant women...
who are having ba...bies!
I'm having a stinking baby!
Every life I bring into this world
Restores my faith in humankind
Each new-born life, a canvas yet unpainted
This still unbroken skin
This uncorrupted mind
Every life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence, almost infinitely small
The most common thing in life is life
And yet every single life bearing new life
Is a miracle!
Miracle!
What?
A girl.
What, you mean my son is a girl?
I mean that your daughter is a girl.
Yeah, but the balloons, Doctor. I mean...
the balloons, they say "boy".
Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth to a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl.
She's perfect.
This is fantastic news.
Why do bad things always happen to good people?
Fine, upstanding citizens like you and me?
Why, when we've done nothing wrong
Should this disaster come along?
This horrible (Miracle)
weird-looking (Miracle)
Hairy little stinky feet...
With no sign of a winky-dink at all!
Every life's a miracle!
Every life's a miracle!
Every life's a miracle!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see.
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical.
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!
My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm.
My daddy says I'm a bore.
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ,
That kids like me should be against the law.
My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole.
No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me.
Mum says I'm a good case for population control.
Dad says I should watch more TV.