When I was a little girl
Like really little - like eight or so
I was playing in my father's study
A place in the house I wasn't supposed to go
My father fancied himself a sailor
His study was filled with nautical decor
He kept a boat in a bottle on the top of a shelf
And it shattered on the ground when I slammed the door
I told my mother everything
I told her I was so so sorry
She told me "don't cry
When he comes home tonight
We can make everything okay
This is all we have to say:
We don't remember a boat in a bottle
It must have fallen off its shelf alone
We know you loved it
We're so sad it's broken
But neither one of us was even home
And it's our word yes, our word, against his"
So I hid screwups from my father
Made up school awards to please my mom
Whatever made the steak taste better
Whatever kept the waters calm
I was told to keep their secrets
And in turn they'd keep mine
As I got older, I got dumber
I couldn't help but cross the line
Three times I nearly wrecked my life
Three times I nearly came to ruin
Three times went crying
To my parents
Who said they'd make it go away
Yes, this is all we had to say:
"we never rented a house in sedona
We didn't see camille the day she died
We haven't been on our boat in some years now
So we don't care what you found inside
And it's our word yes, our word
It's our word yes, our word against theirs."
Somebody was paid to make it go away
Everyone was paid to make the problems go away
Doesn't matter who gets screwed or who is blamed
Or what you need to do to clear your name
An inconvenient truth can be easily erased
When I was twenty-six
I was living in new york
I developed some fun habits
Put my white blood cells to work
I remember it so clearly
I was home alone on a tuesday night
To level out I popped some downers
But couldn't seem to get my mind right
I drew a bath, and slipped into it
And suddenly became aware
I couldn't keep my head above water
I took a final gasp of air
And as I lay there helplessly
A million different thoughts came to me
I saw my parents
Hearing the news
"your only daughter drowned today"
I thought about what they might say
"our daughter Judith?
No she moved to austin
She's very happy there
Or so we hear
She's always been so goddamned independent
The years go by and now we barely see her
Our daughter Judith? you must be mistaken
You mean the girl we raised as if our own?
We loved her so much
She felt like our child
But eventually we had to send her home"
It'd be their word
Only their word
It'd be their word
Only their word
On its own