Lyrics: Fred Ebb
Music: John Kander
for her first number
miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song
of love and devotion
dedicated to her dear husband,Amos
sometime I'm right
sometimes I'm wrong
but he doesn't care
he'll string along
he loves me so
that funny honey of mine
sometimes I'm down
sometimes I'm up
but he follows around
like some droopy eyed pup
he loves me so
that funny honey of mine
he ain't no sheik
that's no great physique
Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
oh, but look at that soul
I tell ya that whole
is a whole lot greater than the sum of his parts
and if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
what is the word?
slandered my name
why, he'd be right there
taking the blame
he loves me so
and it all suits me fine
that funny
sunny
honey
hubby of mine
a man's got a right to protect his home and his loved ones
right?
of course he has
so I came in form the garage, officer
and I see him coming through the window
with my wife Roxanne there sleeping like an angel
he loves me so
that funny honey
of mine
i mean, supposing, just supposing
he had violated her or something
you know what I mean, violated?
I know what you mean
or something?I mean think how terrible that would have been
It's a good thing I came home from work on time
I'm telling you that
I say I'm telling you that
he loves me so
that funny honey of mine
name of deceased
Fred Casely
Fred Casely?
how can he be a burglar?
my wife knows him
he sold us our furniture
Lord knows, he ain't got no smarts
she lied to me, she told me he was a burglar
you mean he was dead when you got home
yeah, she had him covered with a sheet
and she's gavin me that cock and bull story about this burglar
and I ought to say I did it
'cause I was sure to get off
burglar,huh?
now he shot off his trap
(and I believed her)
I can't stand that sap
(that cheap little tramp, she was two timing me,hey)
look at him go
rat, rattin' on me
(well she can just swing for all I care for)
with just one more brain
(boy, I'm down at the garage working my butt off)
what a half witted thing
(fourteen hours a day and she up there munchin' on goddamn fun pop, she hasn't)
if they string me up, I'll know
( this time she pushed me too far)
who bought the twine
( boy, what a sap I was)
that scummy
crummy
dummy
hubby of mine