Lyrics: Fred Ebb
Music: John Kander
Herr Schultz, can I believe what I see?
Oh, it is too much to accept; it's so rare, so costly, so luxurious
If you bought me diamonds
If you bought me pearls
If you bought me roses
Like some other gents
Might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me
If in your emotion
You began to sway
Went to get some air
Or grabbed a chair
To keep from fainting dead away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you cling
To the pineapple I bring
Ahhh
I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow
Ahhh
It's from California
Even so
How am I to thank you?
Kindly let it pass
Would you like a slice?
That might be nice
But frankly, it would give me gas
Then we shall leave it here
Not to eat, but see
A pineapple
For me
From me
Ahhh
But you must not bring me any more pineapples, do you hear?
It is not proper
It is a gift a young man might present to his lady-love
It makes me blush
But there is no-one, no-one in all Berlin who is more deserving
If I could, I would fill your entire room with pineapples!
A pineapple
For you
From you
Ahhh
I think I will lie down for a few minutes
My head is spinning
Fraulein Schneider... good evening
Good evening, Herr Schultz
I am... overwhelmed