Lyrics: Tim Minchin
Music: Tim Minchin
This school of late has started reeking
Quiet, maggots, when I'm speaking!
Reeking with a most disturbing scent...
Only the finest nostrils smell it
But I know it oh-too-well
It is the odour of rebellion
It's the bouquet of dissent!
And you may bet your britches
This mistress
Finds this foul odiferousness
Wholly olfactorily insulting
And so to stop the stench's spread
I find a session of phys. ed
Sorts the merely rank from the revolting
Come along, squits!
I'll take it from here, Jenny!
The smell of rebellion comes out in the sweat
And phys. ed. will get you sweating
And it won't be long before I smell the pong
Of aiding and abetting!
Before a weed becomes too big and greedy
You really need to nip it in the bud
Before the worm starts to turn
You must scrape off the dirt
And rip it from the mud!
The whiff of insurgence!
The stench of intent!
The reek of pre-pubescent protest!
A pong of defiance!
The odour of coup!
The waft of anarchy in progress!
Once we've exercised these demons
They shall be too pooped for dreaming!
Some double-time discipline
Should stop the rot from setting in!
Discipline!Discipline!
For children who aren't listening
For midgets who are fidgeting
And whispering in history
Their chattering and chittering
Their nattering and twittering
Is tempered with a smattering of discipline!
We must begin insisting on rigidity and discipline
Persistently resisting this anarchistic mischieving
These minutes you are frittering on pandering and pitying
While little ones like this
They just want discipline
The simpering and whimpering
The dribbling and the spittling
The 'Miss, I need a tissue' is an issue we can fix
There is no mystery to mastering
The art of classroom mistressing
It's discipline, discipline, discipline!
The smell of rebellion!
The stench of revolt!
The reek of pre-pubescent plotting!
The whiff of resistance!
The pong of dissent!
The stink of moral fibre rotting!
(What a champion!)
(Agatha Trunchbull, has done it again!)
(What an athlete, what a winner!)
Imagine a world with no children
Close your eyes and just dream
Imagine, go on, try it
The peace and the quiet...
A babbling stream...
Now imagine a woods with a cottage
And inside that cottage we find
A parrot called Zeke, a carnival freak
Who can fold paper hats with his mind
And he says, "Don't let them steal your horses!"
"Don't let them take them away!"
"If you find your way through,"
"They'll be waiting for you,"
"Singing 'neigh neigh'!"
She's mad!
Aha!And there, just like I said
The stinking maggot rears his head
Have you ever seen anything more repellent?
Have you ever smelled anything worse
Than that smell of rebellion!
The stench of revolt!
The reek of insubordination!
The whiff of resistance!
The pong of dissent!
And I will not stop 'til you are squashed!
'Til this rebellion is quashed!
'Til glorious, sweaty discipline has washed this sickening scent...
Away!