Lyrics: Leigh Daniel Avidan/Brian Alexander Wecht/Arin Joseph Hanson/James Wesley Roach
Music: Leigh Daniel Avidan/Brian Alexander Wecht/Arin Joseph Hanson/James Wesley Roach
Dan: Hello?
Arin: Hey, Dan. We just got word from the network.
āTalking Video Gamesā has been renewed for a new
season, and they want you to come back to host it!
Dan: Absolutely not! Itās taken me years to emotionally
recover from the trauma that stupid show put me
through.
Arin: Theyāll pay you 5 million dollars.
Dan: HELLO! And welcome to āTalking Video Gamesā.
Todayās topic, as always, is games with simple plots.
Please welcome our guest, James!
Arin: Hi, Iām James from Silent Hill 2. I can tell you the
plot of my games, but itās not very simple, is that okay?
Dan: Oh god yeahā¦Iām so rich now. Brian, give James a beat!
Arin: Well OK, Iām James Sunderland
Let me tell you ābout a little foggy wonderland
Called Silent Hill, good times and thrills
A nice place to chill if you donāt mind getting killed
I was hanging at the crib just livinā my life
When I got a lovely letter from my long-deceased wife
She died years ago from a happy fun illness
It was a good time filled with joy and chillness
I walked 30 miles to a welcoming cemetery
Met Angela who was there on the temporary
She had some nice thoughts going on in her head
Based on her father and her brother and her mom who were dead
Dan: Normally Iād be really freaked out by your weird positivity
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
But mentally Iām totally checked out
Canāt hear you through all this money
ā¦So much cash
Arin: I made more great friends in good mental shape
Like the Wizard of Oz, but in the middle of a hellscape
Like Nice Guy Eddie, a man of good sense
Dan: What happened to him?
Arin: I had to kill him in self-defense
Dan: Ohā¦
Arin: I also met Maria who was like my wife Mary
She reminded me so much of my little huckleberry
āCept more sexually assertive and little bit spiky
Unless she was just a manifestation of my tortured psyche
āCause I might have killed my wife when she was weeping like a willow
Curled up like an armadillo when I smothered her with a pillow
But Maria didnāt mind, her night turned out fine
She was stabbed by Pyramid Head to death two separate times
Dan: Usually I would worry and suggest that you seek some therapy
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
But Iām busy cleaning the seats of my new yacht so just continue please
With your warm fuzzy cyclical hell story
Arin: Well I guess you wanna know how this groovy tale ends
Itās exactly how an old person smells...depends!
Sorry just a little joke because this story tends
To put me in a good mood, but seriously there are six ****ing endings
Maybe I left town with a new adopted daughter
Or I drowned going down with my car in the water
Or I went with Maria where things could get sexual
Or I was actually abducted by some extraterrestrials
All I know is that the ending was extremely positive
And not just a coping psychological composite of
My mental collapse and crippling anxieties
Dan: Hey man itās all right, why donāt you let me buy you these
PiƱa Coladas, the bartenderās got us
Letās go down to my private beach and get some tostadas
Heck yeah!
Silent Hill Woman: AHHHHH!
Dan: Here we go again!