Still Trying

Music: Benjamin F Hannington Smokin' on the devil's lettuce I like stranglin' my bitches, it's a sexual fetish House like a pharmacy, call me your local chemist Tell 'em time to separate the sheep and shepherd I can't do forgivin', I don't do forgettin' Tryna make impressions, I don't do impressions She can't be my wife, but she can hold a session If ain't countin' paper, then I'm countin' blessings I told 'em rest in peace, dipped like the rippΠ΅r Feel like I lost my daughter's ratin' since I datΠ΅d strippers And no matter what I buy her, it don't make no difference But how can complain when I done raised her different? Containin' all these ****ed up thoughts When I let women in my life, it got me ****ed up more I tried to show these brothers love, but they got lost in thought Cah when I needed somethin' back, there weren't no love no more You know? Hustlin' for food I ain't ever claimed that I'm a gangster or a goon No license, just insurance and a re-up in my boot Told my driver, "If you see the federale, better move" I used to roll to show and prove Back when me and Z were sharin' shoes Hit my first lick and gave my cousin half the food I hated bein' broke, I never had no damn excuse That's the truth They don't like my vibe, they say I'm way too deep Have you ever seen a snake that had hands and feet? You can bet your life that I'm a different breed Before I learned how to cook, I was feedin' fiends I feel like I need some sleep Seen a man return broken when they sold him dreams Creepin' on these streets, I'm tryna keep discreet But if don't keep creepin', how we supposed to eat? I came off the benches, overcame the trenches (Mad) If they don't let me in, then I'll create an entrance Different dimensions, please pay attention This is my story, I'II decide the endin' I done smoked a frog and a went to see the gods Couldn't tell you what they told me, it would leave you shocked Paid the cost to be the boss, be thinkin' out the box I'm in a room full of work if you need a job The older get, the less are my friends Sometimes I had to do it twice to learn that lesson again You know? Money and fame, let it get to my brain No point in financial freedom when you're mentally caged Shorty tried to play me, only played herself ( Lyin' on my name, you call that mental health I just hope delusion help you pay your bills And you don't lose composure and become yourself It's forever "**** you, pay me!" Benny still sleepin' like a baby Left out lazy Charge it to the game, they can't play me Miss me with that shit when it's fugazi Love me or hate me Either way, it pays me Everythin' gravy Pack game, wham like Jamie Savin' for them days even when they weren't rainy Sure thing, ain't no, if, buts or maybes Brothers that shot and bothers that shoot They're like executive chef, the way they come with the food Bada bing, bada boom, they take you out of your shoes If I ain't effin' with a pack, I'm probably up in the booth Look, I got somethin' to lose, nothin' to prove I find it hard to break away, man, I feel stuck in my roots It's who? Man on the move You movin' loose If you ain't tryna watch your back, then they might come for your juice You know? I turned a good woman to a head case Introduced my mum to bad ones 'cause I got dead taste I seen a girl sniff coke and start to shed weight How the hell we supposed to settle down? You always in space I guess that's my karma for leavin' Tia Maybe that's my karma for hurtin' Chelsea I shoulda listened when you tried to tell me But I picked lust over love and it became unhealthy My dahghter in her terrible teens I wish she soaked up my knowledge, but she hates when I preach I guess she get it from her dad when she behavin' like me But I didn't always fall and get to land on my feet It's deep That's why I'm screamin', "I don't wanna see the cycle repeat! I can't say it how I want it, so I'm keepin' it neat (Ssh) But my point is: don't you ever follow mummy or me Only thing I ever want is see you follow your dreams For the flip's sake, we was doin' risk takes Peddle-bike diaries, we was wearin' out our disc brakes Everythin' I wanted had fixate Either dictatin' or you let somebody dictate Don't try and understand me, man, I'm still tryin Assassinate my character, they still tryin I ain't rich yet, but I'm still tryin So many failed attempted, but I'm still tryin