Lyrics: Samir Mohanty
Music: Samir Mohanty
Last year I had the first of my panic attacks,
Heart beating fast, sweating, scared, I couldn't relax,
I thought I would die, where the ambulance at?
Now, the doctors asking me about my family's past?
Did anybody have depression or any of that?
Maniacal traits, checking if my brain is intact,
Then he gave me bunch of tabs that made me exactly,
A zombie, it was the first and it wouldn't be the last,
Ummm why did I get it? I really started thinking of it,
Really started digging up my past, umm is it cus?
I was in bed with a girl when my dad died,
****ing her senseless, guess I'm one of the bad guys,
Silent mode, when I finally checked my phone,
187 miss calls, I just spoke to him last night!
And what's worse, I just can't cry,
Until it all comes crashing down like a landslide,
Then I'm crying all night, I'm an emotional wreck,
Lost my gal of 7 years, I'm hopeless at best,
Look back at the step I took with only regrets,
Like holding my breath, I feel I'm slowly approaching my death...
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan,
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan
I wanna say that it don't affect me,
but I watched the people I supported go against me,
And I understand the cause for your resentment,
Cuz most of it just stems from so much envy,
So, diss me, diss me, diss me, get your name up,
If I dissed u back, you'd be famous,
I understand this is, all business,
And y'all just small fishes,
I could murder you,
But I won't cuz no one's ever heard of you,
Almost every girl I meet,
Wants to **** me, not love me, weaving webs of deceit,
They think I'm a sinner, I'm a demon, I'm a playa,
And when they done with me, they probably say a prayer,
Not seeing underneath all this tough guy's a softie,
And if you hear close, he's screaming, "Please love me"!
Natsuki, Ankita, Sush, Rachna & Mary,
But if every girl keeps hurting me, the problems with me maybe...
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan,
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan
Now, what about the gals I hurt?
Let's make a list of that and swallow all my words,
I just called my bluff, it is all my fault,
How could I expect anyone to really fall in love with a guy like me?
But, let me tell you this one night,
I cried my heart out until the sunrise,
Then send a text out to every girl apologizing,
For the pain I caused, they said it's alright,
Tbh, it all started in school,
I was 12 yrs old and someone tried to abuse me sexually,
A boy saw it & he thought it was cool,
To tell everyone but only a ****ing part of the truth,
He made it look mutual, now can you imagine?
Whole school calls you faggot, u don't know what a faggot is,
That type of agony just damaged my mentality,
And turned me to a savage, all these girls were my bandages,
Communication with my mom is fading,
She prefers texts over conversations,
She thinks I'm too generous, I think she is selfish,
Honestly it feels we both are unrelated,
But could you blame me? You didn't raise me as a baby,
My boo did, my love for her is never ever changing,
I know you want your husband back & your son too,
But things in the past, we can't undo, I still love you,
This is me, imperfect,
An intellect, a genius, difficult to interpret,
An over-thinker, got problems with my mental health,
So, whatever u thought about me is incorrect,
No nike, my veins are icy,
My minds on fire & my hearts like find me,
So, you can kiss my mother****ing ass to say it nicely,
And **** you, **** you, **** you, **** you, **** you,
If you don't like me,
I'm me, Samir Rishu Mohanty
Hum hein ek pal mein, khuda ek pal mein, dhuan ek pal mein, khuda ek pal mein, haan hum he dhuan,
Hum hein ek pal mein, khuda ek pal mein, dhuan ek pal mein, khuda ek pal mein, haan hum he dhuan
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan,
Dekho toh, hum sab he,
Pal me khuda, pal mein dhuan