Hey kid Everyone's waiting on you kid

Everyone's wond'ring what you'll do kid It's true kid

Me too kid

Hey kid We're so excited Just to know you'll soon be here Say – kid We're both delighted Though that may not seem so clear

But I did my o b rotation

So I know the ins and outs

And you're an act of God's creation

So I'm fine with all the doubts

I'm a doctor and a soldier I've been shelled and under fire But kid

If I say that you don't scare me I'm a liar

Now kid You did surprise me Though I know the facts of life Wow kid It terrifies me Just to say "My pregnant wife"

‘Cause kid I gotta tell ya I'm not ready – not a bit

There's this macho act I'll sell ya While inside I lose my shit

It's not that I don't want you 'Cause I do despite my fears

But kid Is it true you'll stick around for eighteen years

Then the call comes on the iPhone I grab a cab cross town I find her on the fourth floor And they've got her in the gown She's never looked less lovely She's a grump and she's got gas And the labor's eighteen hours Oh my God kid move your ass Then at last you make your entrance And well kid you're quite a sight I'll be honest – you're disgusting But I know that you're all right Though you're screaming and you're spitting And I can't quite see your charms

They clean you and they clothe you And they put you in my arms And I realize in an instant

That I've known you all along

That I've wanted you forever

That I'll never do you wrong And whatever this world comes to And whatever comes our way I will watch you and protect you

I promise kid we'll be okay We'll be okay We'll be okay Hey Kid

I feel like yelling Ring the bell and bang the drum Say kid There's just no telling all the things that you'll become And I think we'll have some fun here Your mom and you and me And before your time is done here Kid of mine I hope you'll see That this life is what you make it It's cliche which means it's true And kid

It makes my life to know I helped make you

As a father kid I may not have a clue

But your mom and me will somehow muddle through

If my asshole dad could do it I can too

In fact I'll do better I'll start new 'Cause kid

My kid Our kid I love you

Hey, Kid