Wonderful Town, Act I:"Pass the football" (Wreck, Villagers)

Music: Leonard Bernstein Look at me now, Four years of college, Famous professors Tutoring me; Scholarship kid, Everything paid for, Food and vacations, All of it free. Day that I left, Everyone gathered, Their cheering still rings in my ears . . . Ray wreck rah! Rah wreck ray! Rah wreck! Wreck rah! Rah wreck wreck! W-e-c, r-e-k, r-e-q, Wreck, we love you! ‘Cause I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen! Couldn’t spell a lick, Couldn’t do arithmetic; One and one made three, Thought that dog was c-a-t, But I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Couldn’t write my name, Couldn’t translate ‘je vous aime’, Never learned to read Mother goose or andr’ Gide, But I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Couldn’t figure riddles, Puzzles made me pout: Where the hell was Moses when the lights went out’ I couldn’t even tell red from green, Get those verbs through my bean, But I was buddies with the dean Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Passed without a fuss English lit and calculus. Never had to cram, Even passed the bar exam, Because I passed that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Couldn’t dance for beans, Mashed my girls to smithereens. Sometimes blood was spilled, Still my card was always filled, ‘Cause I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Then there was the week Albert Einstein came to speak: Relativity! Guess who introduced him’ Me! ‘Cause I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen. Had no table manners, Used ta dunk my roll, Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl. Though I would not get up for any she, The prexy’s mom -- age ninety-three -- Got up and gave her seat to me, Like nothin’ you did ever see. In our hall of fame, There’s a statue with my name. There we stand, by heck, Lincoln, Washington and Wreck. ‘Cause I could pass that football Like nothin’ you have ever seen!