Lyrics: Benj Pasek/Justin Paul/Marc Shaiman/Scott Wittman
Music: Benj Pasek/Justin Paul/Marc Shaiman/Scott Wittman
Three little babes in their bassinets
Angelic little triplets, or triple threats
They might have fooled the others, but they won't fool me
It's time to give these teething, seething three
The third degree
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who of the crew would commit this crime?
Might a little brat make a mommy go splat?
It's a story pretty gory for a nursery rhyme
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Which of the spawn had the brawn to kill?
Will a baby get tried for matricide?
Coochie-coochie-coo, time for you or you or you to admit it
So quick as a whip gotta a pick which Pickwick triplet did it
Penelope in pink sure is making quite a stink
Is she trying to throw me off the scent?
Though she bats her little eyes, is she a killer in disguise?
With a diaper full of criminal intent
Preening Patrick is pernicious
With an appetite so vicious
He would bite the hand that feeds him with a sneer
But could that rotten tot be behind this evil plot?
Baby's stepping towards a murderous career
Pouty little Paco's looking coy
But he's a bad, bad boy
Could Paco's passion prove apocalyptic?
With his passy and his rattle
Did this Fisher go to battle?
Proving he's the perp amidst this Pickwick critic
In this picker-esque puzzle of the Pickwick pack
Will a lighthouse shed some light?
On which kid gave old Ma the whack?
There's an infant to indict
I'll book this little crook tonight
But...
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who of the crew would commit this crime?
Which little brat made Bobby go splat?
Which crib would sip?
We'll be doing a hard time!
Which of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Which little putz had the guts to kill?
Like a forensic pediatrician
I'll complete this inquisition
I will name the neonatal
From the cradle that grew fatal
I will find a perpetrator
Who did murder to their maker
Or...
Coochie-coochie-coo
What if none of it is true?
Has my inspection been too cursory?
Should I look outside this nursery?
What if none of the Pickwick triplets did it?
Who'd have had a menacing motive and did it?
Who? Who? Who?
Well...
I...
Pick...
You!