Lyrics: Peter Pappalardo/Luke Pappalardo/Vincent Locasto
Music: Peter Pappalardo/Luke Pappalardo/Vincent Locasto/Tommi Vatanen/Toumo Korander
Good morning world
What a perfect day to be a US Representative
Shall I turn on the news?
Yeah! the situation here is out of control
People are dying...
Hmm maybe later
Working in government is truly the best
Particularly the House of Representatives
I walk in everyday to work on my desk
And I say "Not today, I've got bigger fish to fry"
Heightened racial tensions
The electoral college rigs elections
The crisis in the East
Drugs in the food we eat
But if you're asking me
The biggest problem is TikTok
It's not global warming
It's not access to healthcare, welfare, boring!
Corruption at the top
Citizens getting shot
With all that's going on
Right now's the perfect time for banning
TikTok Baby!
We're coming for your TikTok Baby! No No!
The most important problems TikTok Baby!
We're coming for you TikTok Baby! For sure!
And I know we swore an oath
To keep your liberties safe
But we the stuff you're posting online
TikTok's an open public discourse
And you're dragging our name
And it really hurts
But whats even worse
Is we don't see a dime
That's why we call itβ¦
Flagrant propaganda
Dancing to songs by Lin Manuel Miranda
Cucumber recipes
And get ready with me's
All thanks to the Chinese
Our biggest problem is TikTok
It's not Russian presence
It's not that we all take antidepressants
The rich keep getting rich
Hollywood's weird with kids
But none of that's as big as
As making sure we take away your
TikTok Baby!
You don't deserve that TikTok Baby! No no
We don't make money off of TikTok Baby!
So you wont see your TikTok Baby! No more