Crash First

Music: Avrey Freeman/Colson Baker/Andrew Migliore I fill my lungs with half my worth And try to go numb so that I can't hurt 'Cause at my highs I'm at my worst And I can't fly until I crash first
Everyone's seeing my screaming Been that since birth Everyone's seeing this money I'm blowing, but nobody's seeing the work Look, Dad, I'm high like you, for me, the pills don't work I like digging in a bag, I like smoking till it hurts
And if my eyes roll back Then let the tears come first Been holding those in too long Faking it like I'm too strong
And when my eyes roll back Throw my body in the dam And them things in my pocket Will you hide them from my fam? Will you tell the world I loved hard? Can you make them understand That all the things I was struggling with Didn't make me less a man?
And all of the trauma I'm trying to bury probably make me who I am Think growing up broken was necessary so I could fix my fam And part of me died on this death bed holding my daddy's hand Just tell my daughters their father will drown if that means they can swim
I fill my lungs with half my worth And try to go numb so that I can't hurt 'Cause at my highs I'm at my worst And I can't fly until I crash first
I know that it takes time, I'm coming to get you Walking a straight line, I need me a breakthrough I'm smoking a grape vine, sippin' a grape juice Choppin' a white line It's getting harder to face you Oh God
Yeah
Take my hands off the wheel, I'm speeding I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it Open wounds from my nose, still bleeding Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiending Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it No sleep, all party through the weekend Karosene, black smoke I'm breathing Somebody save me, I've been falling off the deep end
All I know is I don't know how to give a **** (I don't) All I know is I don't know how to give a **** (I don't) I couldn't give a **** (No) I never gave a **** (No) All I know is I don't know how to give a ****
Under pressure, I don't got control of my aggression Under the influence, I'm 'bout to make a bad impression
On the dresser it's some ammunition and a weapon And I've been smoking on this shit since I was adolescent
Three sixes, I'm trying to get lucky number seven I wonder if they got a spot for junkies up in heaven
Leave a mess if they gon find my body in the bedroom And they can listen to this song if they want my confession
Take my hands off the wheel, I'm speeding I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it Open wounds from my nose, still bleeding Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiending Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it No sleep, all party through the weekend Karosene, black smoke I'm breathing Somebody save me, I've been falling off the deep end
All I know is I don't know how to give a **** (I don't) All I know is I don't know how to give a **** (I don't) I couldn't give a **** (No) I never gave a **** (No) All I know is I don't know how to give a ****
Go, go, go, go, I'm getting closer to death Go, go, go, go, I'm getting closer Go, go, go, go, I'm getting closer to death Go, go, go, go, I'm getting closer