Lyrics: Helen Tian
Music: Helen Tian
Arranger: Vicente Revello
You ready, Vince?
a one, two, three, four
a one, two, three, hmm
Told a boy I’d like to be an actress
Itty-bitty me in the third grade
(We were literally children)
He laughed it off,
said I could get into pornography
(that little brat)
I kind of understood
But I asked him, “What do you mean?”
Always kept my hair long like a princess (so cute)
Til I ran into this man right after school
He said: “The nutrients are flowing from your brain into your hair” (how scientific)
He was balding, so I guess that’s why he really cared (ha, that checks out)
Lucky me, my parents get it
And I’ve been reading heaps of books
So I know my worth can’t be condensed to just the way I look
But theory and practice, they must go hand in hand
That’s ultra hard to do, when you’re not a man
OK, that was part 1, childhood trauma
Moving on to part 2, my early 20s
Started growing up, my world’s expanding
Then I realized being Asian made it worse
“Come by my office,” “we’ll get a drink”
I hope that you mean business
Then ya complement my eyes, and my heart sinks
Lucky me, my parents get it
And they curse your family
But this highly-driven girl
Can’t turn down chances easily
Ah, theory and practice, they must go hand in hand
That’s ultra hard to do, when you’re not a man
Moving on, into a breakdown
The lyrics are fun, short and punchy
So, follow along if you can
It’s either I’m too slutty or fking dumb
(too dang slutty, ****ing dumb)
Baby that’s a mouthful pick one!
(that’s a mouthful, pick one)
Am I too slutty or ****ing dumb
(too dang slutty, ****ing dumb)
Baby that’s a mouthful pick one!
(that’s a mouthful, pick one)
Lucky me, my parents get it
And I’ve been reading heaps of books
So I know my worth can’t be condensed to just the way I look
But theory and practice, they must go hand in hand
That’s ultra hard to do,
when you’re not a man
(One more time)
But theory and practice, they must go hand in hand
That’s ultra hard to do,
insanely hard to do,
That’s ultra hard to do,
When you’re not a man