Lyrics: Zane Cyphers
Music: Zane Cyphers
Yeh
this one's about my wife
heh
and her infinite men
Her Kindles basically a brothel at this point
yeah, hey, hay
my wife ain't cheatin', but her Kindle sure is
cause she's got 30 fake dudes all calling her miss
there's a fae king, a woleshifter, a demon on deck
and a vampire who's somehow always kissin' her neck
she laughs, kicks her feet, gets all blushy and warm
while I'm in the kitchen fighting tupperware like a storm
I'm like "babe, you good?"
She's like "O-m-g, wait "
the orc just picked her up like she's his fated mate!
girl, how I'm supposed to compete with that ?
these dudes got wings,tattoos,and stamina stats
meanwhile I'm over here with back pain and snacks
at night, Whoa
my wife got book boyfriends lined up in rows
she could start a damn army with the men she chose
every night, she's like ,"o-m-g new toy!"
and I'm just standing here like, "girl, what about your boy?"
she got a harem, a whole damn crew
six in every book and she reads book two
she don't need reality, she got her joys
a library full of delicious boy toys
look babe
look babe, don't take it so rough
just 'cause my book man are a little more buff
they got claws, magic, fangs, torsos carved like art
you got dad jokes, snack crumbs, and a good heart
Which is cute but these men be like
'my queen my mate'
'let me worship you all night with unholy faith'
meanwhile you're like 'babe want a door dash fry? '
I love you boo
but these men got thighs
she'll finish a series and swears she's fine
then 30 minutes later, she's got a new man online
I ask, "who's he? "
she says, "oh, just a prince "
then shows me a cover with a dude who's all rinse and ripped
she says,"babe, he's sweet, and he calls her his treasure"
girl, if I talked like that, you'd call 9-1 for pressure
but hey, if she's happy with her little book clan
I guess I'm okay being boyfriend number ( turns, damn, 10)
my wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear, if there paid rent, we'd be rollin' in gain
she dimples,giggles,screams, "oh my god!"
while I'm just sitting there feeing oddly flawed
she got a harem, a magical squad
each one built like a Roman Greek god
she don't need reality, she got her joys
stacked like jenga with her pretty boy toys
she says,"babe, he's sweet, and he calls her his treasure"
Girl
if I talk like that
you call 9-1 from pressure
But hey, if she's happy with their little book clan
I guess I'm okay being number boy number (turns,Damn,10 )
my wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear, if there paid rent, we'd be rollin' in gain
she dimples,giggles,screams, "oh my god!"
while I'm just sitting there feeing oddly flawed
she got a harem, a magical squad
each one built like a Roman Greek god
she don't need reality, she got her joys
stacked like jenga with her pretty boy toys
Look Babe, I get it
they're ficitional, don't cry
I'm not crying
just heavily hydrated in the eye
you'll always be my main character babe
until
the next series drops
probably