Lyrics: Layne Stein/Anthony Wakim
Music: Layne Stein/Anthony Wakim
Across the sea in the Southern Isles
The Westergaards live in exile
Our fall from grace was a long way down
So to make my mark
I would need a crown
I was 13th in line, so I had no shot
But a princess bride
Now there's a thought
I had one chance
I knew I couldn't fail
So I set my sight on Arendelle
Their queen to be was “Meh” and cold
But her younger sister was cute
Sold!
We met, we clicked, we sang and danced
Then I thought, “Hey Hans, now here's your chance”
I popped the question and she said yes
But now here's the part where it becomes a mess
Our wedding date was set
But then my bride takes off
And when she comes back says, “Meet Kristoff!”
She'd changed her mind although god knows why
And I thought there goes my alibi
Who dumps a prince?
Sure, I'm insincere
But for some random guy who talks to reindeer?
Can't you hear my heart plea
She can't see what we see
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe now he'll choose me
No, me!
After all you've been through
She doesn't deserve you
One thing that I know is true
It's not me, it's you
Ha!
I mean did she think she was gonna do better than a prince?
Well, mother says it's a sign of poor breeding
When someone chooses a peasant
Over someone with grace and poise.
Yeah, which explains why no one wants you!
You're just jealous
Am not!
Are too!
Ladies, ladies, stop bickering
and pay attention to more important things.
Like me.
In a quiet little village in the south of France
I could make girls melt
With a passing glance
I had trophies on the wall
From the wars I won
And the windows afterwards
Mhh, that was fun
Everything was perfect in my perfect life
But there was something missing
And that was a wife
She'd cook, she'd clean
Be with the kids all day
Then she'd call me perfect and do anything I say
There was only one choice for my wife to be
She was gorgeous and everyone in town agreed
The only girl who didn't throw herself at me
What would you call that?
Dignity!
I said, “Belle, good news! You're gonna be my bride
It's your lucky day
But there's one downside
The entire town thinks your weird and strange
But I've got it!
All you have to do is change
Everything about yourself
Then the town won't talk
‘Cause right now your friends are a candle and a clock”
She turned me down ‘cause she disagreed
Then she threw me out
And said she'd rather read
Can't you hear my heart plea
She can't see what we see
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe now he'll choose me
No, me!
After all you've been through
She doesn't deserve you
One thing that I know is true
It's not me, it's you
She sounds like a monster.
Ha! The monster is who she left me for.
And you don't fall in love with monsters, you kill them!
Yeah!
So I got every villager with a torch and pitchfork
To save her!
Yeah!
Which makes me a hero!
I'm still the most admired man in the village.
No! In all of France!
Yeah!
Women certainly do have a strange way
Of showing their appreciation for their true heroes.
Yeah.
I always thought it best
when I've had a choice
that a women should be silent
and have no voice
when a maiden with a mind
meets a man with power
she must know her place
or it all goes sour
As man of wealth
Influence
Prestige
Are we not all fine specimens
Indeed!
The think that love is blind
And it can't be thought
Yes, but that's a lesson
And it can be taught
Yeah, listen to the man and ignore the wife
That's the only way for a happy life
The choice is simple
Choose me and thrive
Or have it your way
And be burned alive
Well, well.
What have we here?
A gathering of men blaming a woman for all their woes.
How...innovative.
Once upon a time, a familiar story
A desperate king needed fame and glory
Had to be the hero for the world to see
He may have fooled everyone
But he didn't fool me
No one ever asked how he got that crown
Of the woman by his side
As he pushed her down
He would have to pay for his behavior
A baby gift with a little flavor
The difference between you and me
Is now I'm living happily
I can't say I'm sorry
It just wasn't meant be
Choose me!
After all we've been through
We can see a new view
One thing now we know is true
It's not me, it's not me
It's
How can it be me if the problem's
You!