Music: Kid Cole/Evan Helm/Drex Carter
I come close my eyes
Times all took
Yeah
Been a long road yeah it's been a long time
Remember I was 12 when I wrote my first rhyme
Livin' in hell inside of my mind
Outside don't know the feelings I had
Then I got old and started to make songs
Feelings got cold and drop in my palms
Teachers don't know the weight in my mind
Turning my fault it stared in grade 9
Wish I could've done it back in grade 6
Outside feel dark but I'ma make hits
So it's my time time to take risks
Shredded my flesh to flash out my wrist
Hit up that studio the first time
Didn't know then it'd take about 5
Hundred more until I put out a song
And a teacher was born but that was just the start
One of those studios made a few hits
One of them kept me from being homeless
But then I turned a new page in my life
And was tired of waiting
I wanted to fly
Flying meant losing home in madina
Flying meant losing another I'll see you
Flying meant honestly I shouldn't be here
Never tried it myself been held in that reaper
Broken car broken heart a broken promise didn't make me stop
Broke feels also long ago
But just wrote my check to write me off
Spent about 20000 on a tour
Independent
I ain't got it off shore
Bank account been froze like 4 months in
But I know y'all got the boy
Don't wanna follow I can feel tomorrow closin' that door again
Can feel the sorrow lost inside tomorrow where does the story begin
I don't want to upset at it
Wrong time
Outside it's on fire
Don't wanna follow
I can feel the tomorrow
Holdin' them close while they dying slowly
That moment in time tend to rip you in half
The scars on your flesh you can try to correct
But they won't go away when you taking a bath
Was taken a back way in the past
My own homie stuck a blade in my back
I ain't once try to move like a snake
So I can't be mad when they labeled you that
Incompatible down to the ions in the mountains
Where my hill to die on
Heart colder than a ******* cry-on
I ain't get a shoulder
I could cry on
Hold up drex
I just need a sec
I just gotta bleed to proceed to hex
Sippin' margaritas
Rocking regal vest
Learn to listen more start speaking less
My own momma used to take me
To the store
And then leave me just to make me
Search for her
Had to leave a really good girl
'Cuz I can't spend my life finding worth for her
If you feel the pain that
I'm trynna lay and you relate then
I'll hurt for you
If you trynna travel down this way
And then end up lost just know
I will search for you
I was like 6 I wrote my first line opened my eyes
Then watch a verse fly
You're blessed but your working
You're learning the time
And it's due till like 5
Step out burning a light
It's 245 in a church while I cry
The tears startin' to hurt and then burn while they dry
Question my worth do I deserve life
Love you so much save the hurt for the night
Don't wanna follow I can feel tomorrow closin' that door again
Can feel the sorrow lost inside tomorrow where does the story begin
I don't want to upset at it wrong time
Outside it's on fire
Don't wanna follow I can feel the tomorrow
Why are you inside
My head my dear
She said sad what you want
I ain't have worst feelings untouched
Like I been holding onto your arm
Memories fade I can't recall love
Dark room like I'm falling in deep with my heart wound
Same old **** with my heart loose
You ain't my friend if you was I forgave you
I wasn't enough always thinking I'll save you
Fight them wars myself and I'm the only soldier still standing here
And found love through the grapevine but I'm having trouble understanding it
There's white noise in the silence from the aftermath of the argument
And gaslights when we break off
Now I just wanna be alone again
And you break my heart by choice
Not that **** you make in your head
Feel my brain splat in my dreams
When I end my life instead
And this selfish ***** is my end
Can't do anything she said
Kill myself this time for real
Love's changed on the edge of my head like
Told my ***** that I'ma make it alright
There's 400 goals I'ma reach and I lied
Stars have been falling and matters allies
But I left the earth for a moment to die
She's seen the vividest pictures of mine
Told 'em my stories I've told 'em my lies
She only know what I tell her the pain is 'cause
I don't want 3 of them to cry