Lyrics: Anna K. Jacobs/Michael R. Jackson Music: Anna K. Jacobs/Michael R. Jackson You know the drill son, hands up for Father God Face away from me Hands up for Father God, Brad Pastor, please don't do this, please don't- When I was a child I spake as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child But when I became a man I put away childish things A real man doesn't have idle hands A real man doesn't jack off A real man lives by the masters' commands Not like a pig scarfing from a trough A real man practices self-control To keep his morals aligned A real man keeps a clean body, soul, and mind I don't deserve this, Pastor, I was just trying to- A real man takes every lash he gets A real man has a thick skin A real man learns from all his regrets So that he'll never have them again A real man walks on the narrow path A path the savior has trod A real man molds himself after Father God I'm whipping you son 'cause I love you I'm whipping you son 'cause I care Pastor, please! I'm whipping the hell out of you now To keep your soul from going there I won't do it again Don't let Satan deceive you He will try every trick So keep your eyes turned to heaven And keep your hands off of your dick It was lusting after your mother that gave you birth, Brad I thank Father God for bringing Dawn into my life to correct that mistake Yes Pastor, I'm sorry Pastor Amen, Amen Truthseekers can you hear me, can you feel my pain? Yeah Truthseeker, but you gotta do something about Dawn, she's who's really causing you all this pain Seriously, Truthseeker, Dawn is why your masculinity is vibrating in the goddamn toilet right now Maybe Dawn is actually the real man in the family Shut up A real man shakes off his father's lies A real man makes his own way A real man sees the world with cold eyes In black and white and in predator and prey A real man takes all his years of rage and he unleashes them mercilessly 'Cause it's Dawn who deserves retribution Not me