Lyrics: Ekoh/Rittz/Merkules/Cvrt Martin
Music: Ekoh/Rittz/Merkules/Cvrt Martin
[Rittz]
Im a shell of a man that I once was
I dont have many friends that I trust much
Getting punished for my sins but its unjust
Then again all my victims and loved ones buried
guy deserve it had to scurry cuz they're family to the cops
felt like they deserted me and let me hit a rut
its been 14 months
i keep prayin to the courts beams up
are they ever gunna let me see my house
I've been so home sick
Try to call her but the phone goes click
I just wanna say I'm sorry and tell her
How much I love her
and we were meant to be together
we need eachother
when we were sober shit was betta
Then we recover
cuz when im drinkin imma killa,
and shes a cutta
its unbelievable its illegal, now for me to call her
So I just crawl up in the bed and ball up in the covers
fallin like a baby chuggin vodka by the litre bottle
****ed if i dont sip n ya i own the struggles
i dont got no windows in the room
I been stuck in
I've isolated myself from all my homies
when they call me, im on insta
so they yellin say I'm ****in'
Shitty husband and a half ass friend
I cant say that i blame them
nah
i had seen so much as a kid growing up
I cant go back and change it
if you feel like me, we need to hang in
[Chorus, Ekoh]
Im tryna live still feelin like a sinner
and i dont know how much i can give em
cuz i just want it all, i just want it all
but it still dont feel like im winnin
Im tryna live still feelin like a sinner
and i dont know how much i can give em
cuz i just want it all, i just want it all
but it still dont feel like im winnin
[Ekoh]
Yo
Lately the people I know have been lookin at me
for some kind of advice
They don't know how much I worry
that imma regret all the shit at the end of my life
going insane,
keeping the poise,
go make the money
give em your voice
never complain
you made the choice
never been happy, distill in the void
and everybody fakes how they feel so
you dont gotta show anybody the real you
now the drugs we contain we conseal that
you do anything to make it and it kills you
you dont wanna walk a mile in my shoes
yall would fall 2 steps along this path
cuz what i go through, i dont show you
I dont feel like i can, yeah
2 loves to halves to the heart
But I grip 2 hands at a time
Im the throat of the game so I cant
hold onto the rest of my life
When im up and its finally done
I dont know but ill have the show
gunna burn everything until everyone that doubted me knows,
I wish I would known what it be like then
I said i give it all just to be like them
Im endin up with nothin just to have, it, all
[Chorus, Ekoh]
Im tryna live still feelin like a sinner
and i dont know how much i can give em
cuz i just want it all, i just want it all
but it still dont feel like im winnin
[Merkules]
I feel like I'm a sinner by heart
I can't see the light so I sit in the dark
Yeah this is the way that it's been from the start
Cuz no matter what I gotta live with these scars,
I'm chained up, like im rockin' some jewellery,
All I need is this vodka to suit me
Impossible thoughts like the haunted consume me,
Cannot let these shots from this bottle abuse me,
No matter what tho, I gotta keep goin'
Swear to god man I bleed these poems,
The seasons change and the leaves keep blowin'
Imma keep movin' up, I won't reach my lowest
Cuz I know I gotta job to finish,
So I keep ****in' the game till the condoms rippin'
and Im lucky to be alive an not locked in prison,
Im on a mission, to show em that my heart still in it
If you gotta problem with a dawg, yall can get it
I'm killin' everybody now. lets be non-specific
They were talkin' shit until I caught em slippin'
and they career just crashed like car collisions,
Shoutout to Ekoh for preachin' the positive,
Even the thought of the bottle I'm vomittin'
Reachin' the top, diggin' deep for some confidence,
I do it for yall that I see in the audience,
[Chorus, Ekoh]
Im tryna live still feelin like a sinner
and i dont know how much i can give em
cuz i just want it all, i just want it all
but it still dont feel like im winnin
Im tryna live still feelin like a sinner
and i dont know how much i can give em
cuz i just want it all, i just want it all
but it still dont feel like im winnin