Nighttime harkens
One more day is ending
Bathtime starts
The stressful bedtime routine
If you don't throw a fit
I will give you chocolate! (Parent of the Year)
Shhhhh (Don't tell Mom)
Slowly, gently
Stir up a martini
Grasp it, feel it
Click on that big TV
Turn my thoughts away
From that sh*t show of a day
Where my two-year-old discovered he could bite （Damn, Son!)
And pray to God that he sleeps through the night
(I don't wanna go to bed!)
What the hell?!
Is he up?!
No way! I just laid down!
He'll be fine
I think I'll just shut the door
(Child screaming ignored)
Close my eyes
And remember life
Befooooooore (Parties! 15 lbs ago! Vacations! Expendable income!)
When I'd sleep
8 full hours
Maybe more (Sleep?! Bye, Felicia!)
Finally, softly
Everyone is dreaming (DADDY!)
F&CK! I hear him!
Daddy, find my Paci!
Turn on all the lights
Here's your blue one, hold on tight!
Can someone tell me what I'm not doing right???
And tell me why my kid won't sleep at night!
"Read me books!'"
"B!tch, my bottle's cold!"
"Go warm it up!"
"I got scared"
"Rub my back"
"DON'T RUB MY BACK!!!" (Say what?)
"Sing me songs!"
"Shut up, Dad!"
"I have to PEEEEEEEE!"
And right then
I lose my sanity
3am
I question having children
Is it Kosher
If I slip him some Bourbon???
He'll grow out of it
AGHHH! Jesus Christ, I look like sh*t!
He's cute but he's shaving years off of my life
And it's all because my kid won't sleep at night! (Drama!)
Just go to sleep!
How many books we gotta read?!
Rock-a-bye baby, blow my head off
Baby Shark, do do do do do do, baby... damn it!
You alone can make me wanna cry (Whining, just so much whining.)
I love you
Won't you please sleep though the...
Niiiiiight~~~ (Pretty please???)
I'm so tired
("Daddy, GET. ME. OUT!")