Lyrics: Eddie Effarby
Music: Eddie Effarby
[Intro: Announcer (Eddiefrb)]
Animation VS Anything!
Puss in Boots
Versus
The Cat in the Hat
Draw!
[Verse 1: Puss In Boots (Keyblade)]
Folks claim he's best of clothed fame
Dressed to impress and head-to-toe draped
From the feather in his cap, the eyes, face, and the purr
The danger in his genes and the boots with the fur
I am Puss in Boots! Hola and olé
You're next to know I am next to no name
Legend to MAP, let me give you advice
So hitchhike to the Wishing
Star and get a life
El Macho Gato patea tu culo
Keeping you Far, Far
Away from a school zonе
Frisky Two Times with the kids at the door
Thеy don't wanna hear you say Thinga-ma-jigger no more
Now I'm catching this stray, tossing him out on the street
What kind of cat needs help getting back on his feet?
Yes, I draw first blood like the doctor's answer
And I go for the throat like your author's cancer
[Verse 2: Cat In The Hat (The Stupendium), The Narrator (Freeced), & Things 1 (Eddiefrb) and 2 (Snakebite126)]
My, that was lots of good fun (Said the cat)
That was fun that was funny, in fact (Hmm)
But one thing to know about me (Said the cat)
Is that I tend to always come back (Cat in- oh yeah!)
I keep two Things in the back brick
Quick to make you disappear like a hat trick (Cat in- oh yeah!)
Begged Shrek asked him, "bring back the magic"
You're not the classic, Cat in the Hat is (Cat in- oh yeah!)
My, my, you haven't faced time kindly
Got nine lives, it looks like you've lived ninety
How did you get packed up by a lone wolf, bro?
Better pack it up and move back to the old folks' home
I'm just checking in since your parents are missing
I'm family friendly, you've been after kitties
'Cuz the altar escape put your marriage on a Softpaws
It altered your mate, now it's as if Kitty's got claws
Reunited again, with Perrito
But she's not impressed by your little gatito
And she knows that she won't compete with your ego
So, next time you die? Adios, amigo!
[Verse 3: Puss In Boots (Keyblade)]
Life is a journey and death is a given
The pages are turned as our stories are written
Your legacy's tethered to Seuss's estate
And defaced by the hatred he paved in his place
It has been a lifetime since the Doctor was in
And his racism tainted the pages he penned
As he propped propaganda art for armed citizens
Death of the author caught the dog whistling
Major empaca tus cosas si me cuelo en tu balcón
(You better pack your things up when I step onto your street)
Todo el daño a la propiedad que hay en mi casa lo hago yo
(Only one damaging property in mi casa is me)
Tu live action hizo que hasta la señor
Seuss se ralle (Live action disaster even earned you Seuss' wife's ire)
Ni Shrek hizo ver tan desagradable a
Mike Myers (Battled Shrek and you're by far the most disturbing Mike Myers)
Fight me if you must, flee me if you're scared
Face me if you can, fear me if you dare
You're done running away, the kids have had enough
I'm dropping the mic, now... pick it up
[Verse 4: Cat In The Hat (The Stupendium)]
Pick it up? Gladly!
I'll pick up the flow
To diss this misfit?
Oh, The Places I'll Go
You call me a stray? You're an orphan
Who stole from his own hometown for his fortune, then scorned it
Alexander banked on you to free him, but you didn't
You ran from the militia and abandoned him in prison
Took the greatest of falls into the plan that he was hatching
Soon as you tried to get laid, he got you back and now all the horses and men
Could never begin to mend
Or put you and Humpty's friendship back together again
Buddy has been stalking before the beanstalk
And better believe bested you 'til his scheme stopped and he dropped
Now, what would you do when brother's plans were foiled?
Couldn't take the fall, you made him take it for you
Unless you mend fences a whole awful lot
Then your legacy's end is once Death has you caught