I used to count the cracks in the ceiling
Like they were maps I'd never read
Morning came with a weight I couldn't carry
So I carried it to bed instead
I knew the shape of every shadow
By the way the light would bend
Some days I didn't want to answer
But I answered anyway, again
I tried the books, the breaths, the mantras
Tried to outrun what I couldn't see
But you don't win by fighting harder
You win by letting be
And I'm still here, still standing slow
Not running anymore, just letting go
I don't need to be the storm that breaks
Just the quiet that remains
After the ache
I used to call it weakness, the shaking
Now I call it proof I stayed
Through every night that swore I'd never make it
I made it anyway
I don't need to name the feeling
Don't need to fix it into shape
Some things aren't meant for solving
Some things just need escape
And I'm still here, still standing slow
Not running anymore, just letting go
I don't need to be the storm that breaks
Just the quiet that remains
After the ache
You don't have to be the one who climbed the mountain
You can be the one who sat beside the hill
And watched the clouds move past without a reason
And found that sitting still
Was enough, was will
So I don't count the cracks anymore
I count the light that sneaks through
I don't know what comes after healing
But I know what came after the blue
I came back
I came back
And the air tastes new