Lyrics: LAUSSE THE CAT
Music: LAUSSE THE CAT
“Six Bitches Each And We’re Going To The Beach!”
“Yes bitch, sign it bitch!”
If I had some P's I'd pass my driving license
Buy myself a Twingo
Buy myself some ice and
I’d find myself a mistress
And take her somewhere nice then
Take her for some drinks
But my wallet’s so dry
And I don't wanna get a job
“Naaaahh”
(Meow, meow, meow...)
See I’d keep a house in London
Live a life of leisure in a city
Where they seldom pity people with low funds and
Have a place where sun comes
More than twice a shitty little year
And have a hammock hung handsome between two branches
Rid lung cancer and buy another gut
Spend my life in hammocks, smitten, sitting, sipping coconuts
With a whistle on my lip, always pissing in the wind
Feeling happy 24/7
Cause see I’d drink the finest red wine and eat in little diners
Open up the check to find I tipped the guy two fivers
(Why thank you, sir)
Smile at the waitress cause all my teeth are whitened
But that'll never happen cause I hate the dentist
Plus I never wanna get a job
“Naaaahh”
(Meow, meow, meow...)
See I'd buy a massive mansion
Invite all of my good mates to live in it
Have a huge oil painting painted where the ceiling is
Massive pool for swimming in
Cellar full of liquor and a ban on anything that ****ing isn't Rock & Roll
It’d be the best place to bill a spliff
Fully fill a fridge with all the elements for dinner
Get peng food delivered without scamming out Deliveroo
Have a double bed amidst the middle of the living room
So maybe then I'd feel a little bit less lonely
(Aww)
Say maybe then I’d feel a little bit less lonely
“Ladies and gentlemen
I present to you the world's smallest violin”
Cause see if I had some P's I'd pass my driving license
Buy myself a Lambo and live a life so lifeless
I'd be one of those wealthy guys
That says that love is priceless
Loathe myself and lose the light
That hides behind my eyes
B-ahwe:
(So what you're saying is we shouldn't give you money, right Lausse?)
No, you should mate
(Why?)
To live a shit life s’alright, but in a good state like
Instead of a Burger King, I’d buy myself a good steak
And savour it so I won't taste the bitterness of blues
Fill a liver with a wine that's seven quid instead of two for six at Boozebin
Buy myself some straights so I don't lose two minutes
When I'm in suits of linen, swinging a coupe of gin and tonic
To swoop some when I'm outside a club
I would pay the rounds of pool when we're all chilling in a pub
Get a pork belly roast ‘stead of picking on some scratchings
And live in dreamy bubble till the reaper comes
Till the reaper comes…
(Till the reaper comes…)
I wanna die Olive-skin, Beer-bellied with a smile on my face
“Cin cin” to life, bye-bye to grey skies above me
Meantime, I'm living in a suave little place
By the seaside with "arr arr" from seagulls above me
Surrounded by some females who love me
Back scratches and Baccy in abundance
Belly full of bubbly and fat fingers struggling to fit
Gold rings like they're strings on a fillet
And trust that I'll be eating good noodles everyday (Free Pimpz)
Yeah I’ll be eating good noodles every day
Yeah I’ll be eating good noodles every day
Yeah I’ll be eating good noodles every day
(So what would you do-)
(So what would you do-)
(So what would you do-)
(So what would you do if you had some money?)
See I would Uber everywhere
Buy some Charlie for my frères
Smoke in every club I go
And if I'm fined, I'll pay a fare
Rent a room to party bare
Buy a massive **** off rig and choose the tunes to party to
And loop 'em till I’m hardly there
Loose a screw and go to care
Pay a dude two hundred grand to prove
I'm anything but loopy, get let loose in underwear
Then I'd try apply for mayor
Get reduced the stupid fares to travel on the London underground cause frankly, I'm not paying
2030 be prepared
Lausse The ****ing Cat for mayor, but I don't wanna get a job!
(No, I don't wanna get a job!)
I don't wanna get a job
(No, I don't wanna get a job!)
I don't wanna get a job
(No, I don't wanna get a job!)
I wanna live like “eye-eye” pirates and pillage
Gold, nutmeg, cloves, pepper, silk, myrrh, saffron to trade
Lay a thousand different women in a thousand different ways
And have a thousand little kittens, have them call me captain
Conquer seven seas and every bay
Fill a boat with rum and sway through every sunny day
Till summer seems like something that'll never leave
And have it stay the same, 'cause see a pleasure only fleeting
If you let it leave and I would never let it leave
And I would never let it be a melancholic memory
A felony it be to let the pelican embezzle all my joy
**** a job, I'm off to sail the seven seas Olay Ahoy!
**** a job, I'm off to sail the seven seas Olay Ahoy
(“YO HO, YO HO, A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME!”)
(“****-a-job-i’m-****-a-****-a-job-i’m-off-to-sail-the-sail-the-seven-seas-the-seven-seas-olay-ahoy…)
If-i-if-i-if-i-if-i-if-i had some P's I'd pass my driving license
Buy myself a Lambo and live a life so lifeless
I'd be one of those wealthy guys
That says that love is priceless
Loathe myself and lose the light
That hides behind my eyes
So I don't wanna get a job
(NAAAAA)
“SAY I DON'T WANNA GET A JOB”
(NAAAAAA)
“SAY I DON'T WANNA GET A JOB!!!”
(NAAAAAAAAAAA!!!)
“SAY I DON'T WANNA GET A JOB!”
(NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH)
“Lah, lah, lah-lah-lah-la-lah-lah-lah-lah-laaah…”
The Tree Wizard:
“The Moon heard this, and said to the cat…"