Lyrics: Vincent Jacovelli/Elijah Geldard
Music: Chanler Hendrickson
All of my life, I never knew I'd be the one that I need
To pick up the pieces shattered inside of me, ain't no apology settin' me free
I need a reason, I need a break
I need to find a little bit of faith
'Cause if I don't, I'ma drown in my misery
All of my victories goin' to waste
I been complacent, I been depressed
Dealin' with demons, I rather neglect
All of the braggin' inside of my music, I found it was me I was tryin' to impress
Maybe I just need to step back
Maybe all the empathy that I lack is a product of the construct that I built for mysΠ΅lf, a necessity for my path
All of my wrath has nevΠ΅r been quelled
Puttin' my vices over my health
Isolation never been no help
I'll overthink 'til I hate myself
Hopin' that wealth will make it better
Maybe I'll be this way forever
Maybe I need to feel the pressure
Push through, gotta stand my ground 'til my demons all surrender
Oh, I don't wanna let go
Roam this life, I'm a lost soul
From the trauma and the heartbreak, still haunted by the mistakes
Oh, they won't ever let me go, let me go
I find it hard bein' human, not feelin' alive, it ain't new to me
Been losin' my faith, surrounded by hate, I only seek God at a eulogy
Just got a call that my dad's got dementia, while I gotta act like I'm fine
Watchin' the people I love start to wither away while we're six hundred miles apart
It eats me inside
Knowin' that I should be home, but I just keep on fallin' behind
This not the life that I envisioned
Depleted, dismissive, destructive at twenty-five
Man, what happen to me? I used to be there for everybody, now I'm not
Can't even answer my phone without bein' reminded my homies are still poppin' off
And I became jealous and bitter and spiteful, reclusive, and pessimistic as can be
Heart became colder, unable to feel any empathy, 'less it's directed at me
Deflective and won't take acceptance for anything, shut off humanity just so to breathe
When hubris and plutus reminds us there undefeated, said, "I'd never fall victim to greed"
But that's where I'm at, I need to let go
Of everything keeping me inside this hole
But if you want love and acceptance for public perception, I promise you'll never be whole
Had to remember the reason I started this
All for the journey, will see where this goes
But I can not let all my heathens and demons keep holdin' me back
I'm takin' control, damn
Oh, I don't wanna let go
Roam this life, I'm a lost soul
From the trauma and the heartbreak, still haunted by the mistakes
Oh, they won't ever let me go, let me go