Music: Jerry Bock/Sheldon Harnick
Lovely Arpad：Mr. Maraczek,
you’ve got to stop thinking of me
as just a delivery boy.
In a suit with a tie,
I look old.
And I’ve been training myself to be a sales clerk,
training hard for two years.
Maraczek：What,you’ve been training？
Lovely Arpad：
I have trained myself,
going shelf by shelf.
And I know every item in the store.
Every tube,jar,box,bottle,carton,
and container.
Where they are,
what they cast,
what they’re for.
Although it’s something you have never thought about
Mr.Maraczek,try me.
You need a man who knows the business inside out,
Mr.Maraczek,try me.
You need help,
or I’d have never spoken,
and why break someone in when I’m already broken？
In this emergency,
I wouldn’t let you down,
Mr.Maraczek,try me.
Now,I can see by the uncertain way you frown,
that you’ve asked yourself,
“Why me？”
For first-class clerking and conscientious working,
Mr.Maraczek,why not try me？
Maraczek：All right.
This cream is sour.
Very sour.
Take it back.
Lovely Arpad：
You wish to return this jar,madam.
Certainly,right you are,madam.
You say it smells like a drowned cat,
oh,it does,at that.
At Maraczek’s,madam,
we claim with pride.
The customer must be satisfied.
The customer must be satisfied.
Oh,by the way,we have a special sale on Autumn Heather.
Let me spray some on your hand.
Here,we’ll smell it together.
It’s has the three elements of good perfume.
Attractive to the nose,
invisible to the eye,
and functional.
My wife has used it time and again. (hhhh
It’s very appealing to us men.
I use it myself every now and then.
Maraczek：I’ll take it！
Lovely Arpad：Certainly,madam.
Oh,Ms.Ritter！
[Clears throat]
Ms.Ritter.
That’s 20 and 6 for the Autumn Heather,
8 and 3 for the cream.
32 even for that bottle of Mermaid’s Dream.
1 and 3 for the eyebrow pencil,
9 for the large shampoo,
and the ,for the jar you’re bringing back,
that’s 4 and 2 for you.
That’s a total of 98,
less 4 and 2 for the jar.
Out of 100？
Cha-ching. (Ahhhh,so cute
Here’s your change,
5 and 2 .
There you are,
the biggest sale in several years,I believe！
Thank you,madam,please call again.
Glad I could help,here is my card.
Thank you,madam,please call again.
do call again,
Madam！
I would gladly grow a mustache if you like. (hhhh
Mr.Maraczek,try me.
Maraczek：Oh,no.
Arpad：
And I would even think of giving up my bike,
Mr.Maraczek,try me.
For first-class clerking and conscientious working.
Mr.Maraczek,why not try me？
[Cheers and applause!!!]
【END】