Lyrics: Rob Rokicki
Music: Rob Rokicki
CHARON: Seen plenty of people all over the years
From heroes to half-bloods, with their pitiful tears
Thinkin' that they'll save a loved one
From below
ENSEMBLE: Oh no, oh no! Oh no!
CHARON: They think they'll pop down for a quick trip
JAMES BROWN: But it don't work like that!
CHARON: So kids
Here's a tip
You ain't gettin' out
We gotcha and we ain't lettin' go
ENSEMBLE: Oh no! Oh no!
CHARON: Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!
(Spoken) What do you think of my song?
ANNABETH: (Spoken) It's great.
PERCY: (Spoken) Was that James Brown?
CHARON: (Spoken) We have all the greats down here! Mozart, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain. Who do you feel like listening to?
GROVER: (Spoken) Ooh! Um, do you have any Josh Groban?
CHARON: (Spoken) Mm. We will. Eventually.
(Sung) I ferry the souls of the newly deceased
I got a sweet ride, it was newly leased!
And if the dead complain, I just
Turn up the stereo
JANIS JOPLIN: We get our kicks 'cross the River Styx
KURT COBAIN: It's a permanent trip, so don't try no tricks
MOZART: Gentleman und ladies, it's Hades who runs the show
CHARON: (Spoken) Oh, look, it's the Vienna Boys' Choir. They crashed their bus on the way to sing for the Vatican.
GROVER: (Spoken) They're kids.
CHARON: (Spoken) They're lucky! Their voices will never change now.
VIENNA BOYS' CHOIR: (Sung) Eins, zwei, drei
Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival
CHARON: (Spoken) You're dead!
Who has two turntables and three sick heads? Everybody give it up for D.J. Cerberus!
ENSEMBLE: D.O.A.
D.O.A.
CHARON: Down here you're D.O.A.
And you're here to stay
Yeah, you're stuck forever
Never get away
No hope of survival
You're dead on arrival!
Dead on arrival
ENSEMBLE: Can't get, can't get away. Can't get away 'cause you're D.O.A. now
CHARON: Oooooh yeah!(ENSEMBLE: Can't get, can't get away. D.O.A., D.O.A.)
You ain't ever gonna save what matters
You ain't gonna protect your friends
You ain't ever gonna be remembered
This is where your story ends
Today
ALL: D.O.A.!