Trying To Be Brave

My hand shakes on the rail At the top of the stairs I count every breath Like it might hold me there Your name in my mouth Like a stone I can't drop I stand in the doorway And I still don't stop If I move, I might fall If I stay, I might drown So I lift up my chin And I look at the crowd My heart hits the floor Then it climbs back again I'm not fearless, I know But I'm here, I'm here I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave With my knees in the light And my voice in the flame I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave The room holds its breath When I step to the mark A glass in my hand And a tremor in my heart I thought courage was clean Like a ribbon pulled tight But it looks like a fight That you win in the night If I move, I might fall If I stay, I might drown So I lift up my chin And I look at the crowd My heart hits the floor Then it climbs back again I'm not fearless, I know But I'm here, I'm here I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave With my knees in the light And my voice in the flame I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave Let the drums go loud Let the whole room see Every crack in my armor Is part of me I don't need a crown I don't need a sign Just one steady step At a time, at a time I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave With my knees in the light And my voice in the flame I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave I'm trying to be brave