Lyrics: Ian McConnell
Music: Ian McConnell
[Verse 1]
I wish coffee made your teeth whiter
I wish porn was good for your brain
I wish artists didn’t need money
I wish billionaires were less vain
I wish cheese were not so expensive
I wish doing taxes was fun
I wish one night stands were romantic
I wish guys could cum more than once
I wish ice cream made you more healthy
I wish weed was good for your heart
I wish exercise were less sweaty
I wish drinks were cheaper in bars
I wish we could all be less racist
And I wish the Bible made sense
I wish phones were not so addictive
[Chorus]
And I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been
[Verse 2]
I wish I had known what I wanted
I wish you had never got mean
I wish we had started off honest
I wish I had made you feel seen
I wish you were less narcissistic
I wish I had known how to help
Wish you coulda seen what I loved in you
Instead of hating yourself
I wish I had met you when Covid
Wasn’t ****ing up our whole lives
I wish both of us were less lonely
From our months of staying inside
I wish I were more understanding
I wish you were way less intense
Maybe then you could still stand me
[Chorus]
‘Cause I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been
[Bridge]
And it isn’t all your fault
But some of it is
And some of it’s mine
And some of it’s just
Bad timing
And shitty circumstances
[Verse 3]
I wish Amazon were less evil
I wish climate change were a hoax
Wish I didn’t have to be sad as ****
To write my funniest jokes
I wish you would someday forgive me
I swear I was trying my best
And I know it wasn’t an option
[Chorus]
But I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been
I just wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been
I just wish we coulda stayed
Just wish we coulda stayed