Lyrics: Gregory Holgate/Rain Watterson
Music: Rain Watterson
"...Blue Coal presents: Jack Pepper, Mouse P.I."
"The bite-sized tale of harrowing adventure,
and hickory-dickory-derring-do."
"Tonight's story is starring the sterling Stupendium,
and the fancies of Freeced,
animated upon the ones and twos."
The Stupendium:
Something stinks in this city
And I don't mean the "Munster Cheese"
So you'd best stay sharp with "the Cheddar"
For the trap's laid underneath
There's an art to violence
You'll find I'm packing a Master-"Piece"
Maybe morally gray
But you gotta be faced with this color scheme
I'm a
humdinger of a gunslinger gumshoe
Some singer,Black and White
--the White becomes Blues
Finger on the trigger
And another in the jigger
Six shots from the barrel
Knock 'em back like it's a punch queue
Golly, what a rum do
Hot upon the hunt to
Seize the "Big Cheese"
Leave him leaking inky fondue
This underbelly's wrestling with a case of indigestion
And I'm here to ask some questions
Make confessions if you're drawn to
Freeced:
If You Give A Mouse A Clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give a mouse a gun...
What have you done??
There must have been other solutions
If you give
A mouse a clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give
A mouse a gun...
You better run before he figures how to shoot one...
The Stupendium:
My, oh, my, it's a Hell of a trip
That turpentine,acetone,benzene dip
I guess it's pretty "comic"
How they got you to "strip"
One "rubber-hose" dose and you're fixing to drip
Down the Drain
Think twice 'fore you try that again
Blind Mice say "crime doesn't pay"
But my pocketbook gets a raise
With each crook I'm putting away
Freeced:
It ain't "Mossflower",Country Mouse
Mark towers,lit at dark hours as you run south
Rich cats chewing the fat and holding crumbs out
Which Rat's too on the rack to hold their dumb mouth?
Bright vermin like to worm in nice,earn stripes
Become a boss giving turncoat "Curd Pipes" firm knives
If you're gonna serve time often
Church Mice quiet means surviving your first crime
What are you, nascent?
Check papes for the scuttlebutt
"Many a mouse found Erased in a rubber rut!"
You won't get a statement from the station
For your troubles 'cause
Every rotten cop is in the pocket of the "upper crust"
Street spawn never know peace,I'm no better
When the heat's on to turn Jack to a Ghost Pepper
Rope-a-doping half the case of "rotoscope" Rodentia
Tracking through the blows
So I know which of my foes sent ya
If You Give A Mouse A Clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give a mouse a gun...
What have you done??
There must have been other solutions
If you give
A mouse a clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give
A mouse a gun...
You better run before he figures how to shoot one...
The Stupendium:
My, oh, my, it's a Heavenly trip
That Parmesan, Camembert,French Brie dip
Got a tale full of holes,is your alibi Swiss?
Leave your tail full of holes when I empty the clip
And I spray
Think twice 'fore you try that again
Blind Mice say "crime doesn't pay"
But my pocketbook gets a raise
With each crook I put in the grave
Freeced:
Wad of tobacco in my cheek pouch
Case the back door, if you hear a squeak,bounce
How you like Jerry with the Tommy gun now,dammit?
Deep down dirty, I've been dying to clean house
One Rat-tat and the whole pack scatters
Fun fact:
If they don't,then they go back tatters
Dangerously mad to my face my gat if you ask Hatters
Half is not the fraction I've chosen to go and ass matters
The Stupendium:
Stone-faced like my brain is in a "Roquefort"
One,two,three
And I'm here to show you what for
Packrat packing a Rat-a-tat-tat
Leaving habitats trashed
Rolling punches like a sock drawer
Encore!
Spraying at the mob guards shooting me
Ragdoll beautifully
Arms all noodle-y
Lay them on the board
God,I love Charcuterie
Drop you in a coffin
Lid topped with a cube of cheese
OH WAH OH
HAVE YOU "COMTΓ" YOUR SENSES?
OH WAH OH
FROM YOUR "GREVΓ"-OUS OFFENSES?
OH WAH OH
BUT A "QUESO" DEMENTED
OH WAH OH
IS A "PRO-FOR-LONELY" DETECTIVES
(PROVOLONE!!)
(HAH!)
Freeced:
If you give a mouse a clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give a mouse a gun...
What have you done?!
There must have been other solutions
If you give
A mouse a clue
He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion
And if you give
A mouse a gun...
You better run before he figures how to shoot one...
Freeced & The Stupendium:
(If you give a mouse a clue)
(He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion)
Oh, you better believe I'm gonna pursue that clue!l
(And if you give)
Yeah, a clue would be great
(A mouse a gun)
But how about,uh,a little bit of Wensleydale,huh?
(What have you done,there must have been other solutions?!)
You got this!
(If you give)
(A mouse a clue)
Woo I was about to eat this!
(He will pursue that clue unto its true conclusion)
(And if you give)
(A mouse a gun)
Monterey, Pepper Jack
(You better run before he figures how to shoot one)
Gouda,got any,gouda?
I've been working up a hunger
The Stupendium:
Ah forget it,
...you don't like cheese?
That's fine
There's one thing I can't stick
It's lactose intolerance...
(Say CHEEEESSEEE)