Evelyn: Patrick, can you please do something? Your friends are ruining everything.
Patrick: Seriously, Paul, Jean, there are more important things to worry about than, excuse me, Sri Lanka or the death of downtown.
Apartheid, for one, is simply not done
And we need to slow down the arms race
Oh, terrorism is fine, it keeps the commies in line
And ending world hunger will save face
Courtney: Why exactly is there an ice cube in my soy sauce?
Evelyn: To chill it, Courtney.
The Middle East is a beast, a big drag at least
It sure needs some kind of segue
But the last thing we need in the land overseas
Are displays of American meddling
Oh, Sri Lanka
Your love I cannot find
You are so distant
You are not one of mine
We need to ensure America’s pure
And takes care of the domestic
Old men and old ladies
And babies with rabies
The places where AIDS has infested
Let’s take some axes to federal taxes
Let’s throw away our inhibitions
Let’s open the doors for Standard and Poors
And mergers and acquisitions
I hope you die, yuppie scum
I can’t believe that we came from
All the same material
The same dad and the same mom
Oh, Sri Lanka
Your love I cannot find
You are so distant
You are not one of mine
Oh, Sri Lanka
You do not understand
You are so foreign
And far from my land
Oh, Sri Lanka