Music: Steven Chesklik-deMeyer/Tim Maner/Alan Stevens Hewitt/Steven Cheslik-DeMeyer
In the House of Borden, there's a lock on every door;
In every room a prisoner of a long, silent war.
Let us take you to an August back 1892.
When all Hell broke loose in the House of Borden...
Andrew Jackson Borden knows that pennies must be pinched,
So Monday's mutton supper will be Tuesday's mutton lunch.
And then to stretch it further, Thursday's breakfast is mutton soup,
And were getting sick in the House of Borden...
When daddy was an undertaker, no body was too tall;
He'd charge 'em for the big box and bury them in the small.
To save a couple of dollars, he'd chop off a couple feet...
He's ****ing rich, that Mr. Borden!
In the House of Borden, there's a lock on every door;
In every room a prisoner of a long, silent war.
Let us take you to an August back 1892.
When all Hell broke loose in the House of Borden...
The sisters live in the front of the house, the old folks take the rear;
It seems a bit peculiar but they've kept it up for years.
I won't say they're not cordial; crowded's more the word.
They get no peace in the House of Borden...
Lizzie's not the brightest bird and Emma's not so sweet;
Mind you, these are not my words, but I hear things on the street.
Anyway you slice it, these girls are past there prime.
There's no wedding bells in the House of Borden...
In the House of Borden, there's a lock on every door;
In every room a prisoner of a long, silent war.
Let us take you to an August back 1892.
When all Hell broke loose in the House of Borden....
Father married Mrs. Borden after our mother died.
If she's in it for the money, she's in for a big surprise;
We've no personal objection, BUT SHE CAN'T HAVE WHAT'S OURS!
Fair is fair in the House of Borden....
The family crest of Borden is a lion with an axe,
Running rampant into battle, ready to attack.
It's an oddly fitting emblem for a family like this
And were killing time in the House of Borden (Killing time) .
In the House of Borden, there's a lock on every door;
In every room a prisoner of a long, silent war.
Let us take you to an August back 1892.
When all Hell broke loose in the House of Borden....
When I was a girl, I have my father my gold ring.
He wears it to this day, a symbol of my love for him.
My middle name is Andrew; Father wanted a boy.
But I'm Daddy's Little Girl now.
The father loved the younger one, some say a bit too much.
They say she talks to pigeons, but who am I to judge?
I don't mean to spread a rumor, these are just things that I hear.
But there's some crazy shite in the House of Borden...