CHARLIE
Why didn’t you warn me?
LAUREN
I thought you hear. Everyone else did.
CHARLIE
Do you think I would have let it go this far?
Why didn’t you stop it?
LAUREN
Have you ever tried stopping Lola from doing anything?
Lola told Don he could give her any challenge at all and this is what he chose.
CHARLIE
A boxing match between Lola and Don at the FIST’A’CUFFS?
It’s going to be a bloody slaughter.
LAUREN
Have some faith. I’m sure Lola has a few moves up her sleeve…
CHARLIE
It’s not her I’m worried about.
Lola is a professionally trained fighter
LAUREN
She's a what?????
CHARLIE
Come on!
WORKER ON DON’S SIDE
Um hmmm. Looks like there's gonna be trouble.
ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE
Oo wee. He don’t know who he’s messing with. Uh. Huh.
REFEREE
Ladies, Gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up their minds…
In this corner
Lean and brown,
Weighing in
In a gold lamé gown
In this corner
Here tonight
In the cradle
Of the bright white light
PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE
Hit him in his big mouth.
Hit him in his insecurity.
PAT, ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE
Yeah.
PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE
Hit him off his high horse
Hit him so everyone can see.
PAT, ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE
Yeah.
TRISH
Who do you think you are? Coming to our town lookin’ like a penny sardine on a five-star plate. You better watch you back.
REFEREE
In this corner
Heavy weight
We mean heavy
Like a buttermilk cake
Can a real man
Ever confess
He was beaten
By a guy in a dress?
TRISH & WORKER
Hit him in the lipstick
Hit him in his feminine mystique.
TRISH, WORKER ON DON’S SIDE & MALE ENSEMBLE
Yeah.
TRISH & WORKER ON DON’S SIDE
Hit him off his high heels
Hit him in the cheek
And send him back to London town
TRISH
Sequined freak.
PAT
You’re just gonna get slapped, slapped, slapped.
REFEREE
Alright, alright, alright. Listen up, you two. I want a clean,
fair, but artfully performed fight. I don’t want to see any blows
below the belt or any hairs out of place.
Hang on, darling, you’ve a tick of lipstick on your teeth.
All right then. Get to your corner and come out fighting!
TRISH
He ain’t half the man Don is!
PAT
You can say that again!
PAT, ANGELS, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE
In this corner
Wow the crowd
Take him down
And make us ladies proud
TRISH, WORKER & MALE ENSEMBLE
In this corner
Dominate
Set her up
So we can set her straight
REFEREE
Round one!
MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS
Hit him in his big mouth
Hit him in his insecurity.
Yeah.
Hit him off his high horse
Hit him so everyone can see.
Ooh, yeah.
REFEREE
Back to your corners, you beasts!
ANFEL ON LOLA’S SIDE
Care for a grasshopper, darling? It’ll keep ya bouncy.
PAT
If you finish him off fast we can still get kimchee at the Korean’s.
DON
So you got good shot
But don’t get cocky
LOLA
I am pretty as Ali
And tough as Rocky
DON
If you’re lucky I might
Let you off easy
LOLA
Don, you know I get excited
When you tease me.
TRISH
What’s the matter, Don
You look a little pale
LOLA
I feel like a hammer
DON
I feel like the nail
TRISH
Come on, Don
Knock ’em black and blue
PAT
Here comes an uppercut, a left hook
And a pirouette too
REFEREE
Round two!
MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS
Hit him in his big mouth
Hit him in his insecurity. Yeah.
Hit him off his high horse
Hit him so everyone can
Everyone can, everyone can
REFEREE
Un, deux, trois!
MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS
Hit him off his high horse
Don really let that big fist fly, yeah
He hit him with his brute force
Now he can hold his head up high
CHARLIE
Less than a week ’til Milan and you somehow figure a boxing match a good idea?
LOLA
I thought watching Don slap me around might boost morale.
CHARLIE
I surppose I should thank you for not crippling him.
LOLA
Anything for the war effort.