Lyrics: Alan Jay Lerner
Music: Frederick Loewe
"Doolittle (turns, crosses downstage) (spoken)
How much time do I have left?
Jamie, Harry, and Male Chorus (sing)
There’s just a few more hours,
That’s all the time you’ve got.
A few more hours
Before they tie the knot.
Doolittle (in despair, he has put his hands in front of his face. A Girl consoles him. Facing front) (spoken)
There are drinks and girls all over London, and I have to track ’em down in just a few more hours...
(sings)
I’m gettin’ married in the mornin’!
Ding, dong! The bells are gonna chime!
Pull out the stopper,
Let’s have a whopper,
But get me to the church on time!
(crosses downstage)
I gotta be there in the mornin’,
Spruced up and lookin’ in me prime.
Girls, come and kiss me,
(They do.)
Show how you’ll miss me,
But get me to the church on time!
If I am dancin’,
Roll up the floor.
If I am whistlin’,
Whewt me out the door!
(crosses stage center)
For I’m gettin’ married in the mornin’.
Ding, dong! The bells are gonna chime.
Kick up a rumpus,
But don’t lose the compass;
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
For Gawd’s sake, get me to the church on time!
All (Doolittle and SATB Chorus) (circling the stage, Doolittle leading)
I’m gettin’ married in the mornin’.
Ding, dong! The bells are gonna chime!
Doolittle (at center)
Drug me or jail me,
Stamp me and mail me.
All
But get me to the church on time!
I gotta be there in the mornin’
Spruced up and lookin’ in me prime.
Doolittle
Some bloke who’s able
Lift up the table.
All
And get me to the church on time.
If I am flyin’,
Then shoot me down.
Doolittle (with a girl on each arm)
If I am wooin’,
(pushing them away)
Get her out of town!
All
For I’m gettin’ married in the mornin’,
Ding, dong! The bells are gonna chime!
Doolittle
Feather and tar me,
Call out the army;
But get me to the church,
All, except Doolittle
Get me to the church,
Doolittle
For Gawd’s sake, get me to the church on time!
Street Can-Can
(The Crowd pulls out the stopper and has a whooper. The dance is a wild spree. Doolittle crosses to downstage to watch as the Bartender enters with two steins of beer. Doolittle drinks the two beers and is dragged off into the pub.
As the dance ends there is a hush as dawn breaks over the Flower Market. The Cockneys all congregate at center waiting for Doolittle.)
Harry (with wordless chorus background)
Starlight is reelin’ home to bed now.
Mornin’ is smearin’ up the sky.
(Doolittle enters from pub, crosses to stage center bowing to all.)
All
London is wakin’,
Daylight is breakin’;
Good luck, old chum.
(Harry and Jamie cross to Doolittle at center, shake his hand solemnly.)
Good health, goodbye.
Doolittle (in deepest gloom)
I’m gettin’ married in the mornin’.
Ding, dong! The bells are gonna chime!
(They all lift him over their heads.)
All, except Doolittle
Hail and salute me,
Then haul off and boot me.
(He falls back and they carry him over their heads in a prone position. Doolittle places his hat on his chest as if to add the final touch before the inevitable.)
And get me to the church,
Get me to the church,
(They carry him off.)
For Gawd’s sake, get me to the church on time."